Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Kahle Nkosazane, Angikusheli

Ewu, haaaawu wemadoda, waze wamuhle umuntu wesifazane
Sawubona Nkosazane, uxolo uma ngikuphazamiza, nami ngiphazamisekile ngobuhle bakho
Yazi phela umuntu akajwayele ukugeza amehlo kamnandi kangaka emgwaqweni nje
Kodwa-ke angicacise. Angikusheli ngiyancoma nje

Ngicela ukuxoxa nawe Nkosazane, izwi lakho ngathi uju lwezinyosi, limtoti ezindlebeni
Amehlo akho ajulile ngathi amanzi olwandle, umuntu angabhukuda kamnandi kuwona
Bheka nje, isfuba sakho sphalaphala ey, kodwa wothi ngingasho okuningi ehh
Yazi wothi ngikuphelezele kancane, ngizojika la uya ukhona nawe
Cha angiqonde lutho olutheni, bengidumisa nje imisebenzi kaThixo

Ake sihlale kancane siphunge itiye elishisayo, noma i-juice ngoba nawe uyashisa
Ngiyacabanga ukuthi labantwana onyathela sebekhathele nabo, ehhe...
'The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains...' hayibo, ngenzani manje
Bheka nje amathanga akho asengenze ngadidekela ngasesiLungwini
Ewu, phuma langa sikothe, mbali yomhlaba, boya obuphuphuzelayo ngathi utshani base-Orlando
Kahle nobuhle angikusheli, bengisika elijikayo nje

Kahle sisi wenzani manje? Ngiganiwe mina ungangithinti kanjena phela
Kodwa phela isikhumba sakho sintofontofo sibusheshelezi, izandla ezimhlophe
Ngiyabona wena awukaze utheze izinkuni hehe, hehehehehe
Konje ungubani igama? Kukuphi ekhaya? Isibongo ubani? Hhayi, asihlobene, kwakuhle...
Awungiphe izinombolo zakho, hleze singafonelana mafuphi, ukuncokola nje okungatheni
Noma siyobona umbukiso-bhanyabhanya lapha eBhayaskobho ngoLwesine
Cha angikukhiphi, angithi singabangani nje? Ngithathiwe mina, kodwa asiqhubeke

Awume ngiphendule ucingo ... hhayi omunye nje umuntu wesifazane ongabalulekile
Kona sekumele ngihambe, bangilindile. Kodwa ey, inhliziyo ayivumi
Ake ngikubheke okokugcina, amehlo azitike ngobuhle obungechazwe
Ngizobuye ngikubone nini Nzwakazi, isiXhosa-ke leso, ngazi zonke mina
Khona kusasa, lapha ezitolo? Ima, asithole indawo ethe ukuqhela kancane

Asenzi lutho olubi, nje angiwathandi amehlo abantu, baqavile ngokukhuluma
Ungangifoneli kulephone, ngizokunika enye inombolo singaphazamiseki
Kodwa ungafoni ebusuku ngoba ... eh ... ngiyashesha ukulala. Ya.....

Ngingasakushelanga-ke Nkosazane ey, ehhe....

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Day I Became a Dad

Lerato had been due to see her gynaecologist on the 9th May at 9:30am, a Friday. It was to be her final doctor's visit before delivery since she was already 40 weeks pregnant and her due date was the 10th May, although it was clear that she wouldn't deliver on that day since she had not a hint of labour pains. I had just started a new job in Cape Town so I was unable to accompany her to the visit as I'd done previously, but her sister Mapula was kind enough to go along.
Morning of the 9th when I get to the office, I call Lerato just to check how she's doing. She was hoping the doctor would call for a C-section as she was understandably tired, but we knew that was unlikely. I wished her well for the visit and carried on with my day, she was gonna fill me in when she left his office. "Ok, I love you, chat later babe"
Around 10:00 I get a call from her, and her voice is shaky and panicky. The doctor found her blood pressure to be extremely high, hypertension levels high, and she would thus have to be induced. He immediately wrote a letter for her to take to the maternity ward at the hospital, instructing the nurses to immediately admit  her and induce labour. This was a worst-case scenario for us, as we knew that induced labour can be more painful than normal labour, and may be dangerous for the child. Fortunately she had always planned a delivery with epidural; the medical aid knew that and the hospital knew that too (thank goodness for medical aid). With hands and voice shaking I told my managers, then went about booking the next flight to Johannesburg. I booked myself on the 16:00 but didn't leave immediately as my thoughts would kill me at home. I kept working till after lunch then I left.
I said a prayer of thanks and requested protection for myself and my two loved ones. It was easily the longest flight I've ever been on. They had already started inducing her around midday. She was far from labour but she was hooked up on all those machines. The thought of her going through that without me killed me. Also, my mother who is a nurse had expressed deep reservations about epidural deliveries. She's a qualified midwife so she'd know. I landed at 6pm and waited for Mapula to come pick me up. Eventually after being stuck in traffic she arrived after 7pm. I was very happy to see Lulu, she still looked fresh. Yes, it'd only been just under 2 weeks but part of me expected some knocks. Oh, Lulu is my car by the way. Yes, my car is female and she has a name. I drove fast, but we still arrived at the hospital around 8pm.
Lerato was hooked up to 2 machines, one to monitor the baby and one to monitor her. She also had a drip on her arm; there may have been 2 drips, I don't remember. Her mom and aunt had stayed with her while Mapula fetched me. I was very happy to see her, and so was she; I could sense her nerves and she could sense mine. She had heard another mother screaming her lungs out while delivering which heightened her nerves. She was still not dilated yet, and thus had no labour pains. Her feet were extremely swollen, I could see why the doctor acted quickly. Her BP had gone down somewhat but was still quite high, her heartbeat was also high. There was nothing irregular with the baby's heartbeat though, thankfully. I stayed with her for a while until the doctor arrived just after 9pm to check on her. Since she wasn't showing any dilation or labour pains, he thought it best to sedate her at once so she could sleep through the night and the process would be carried on the following morning. It was therefore decided that I would drive her family home, go home myself and sleep and return early the following morning. We left around 9:30pm.
I dropped off her mom and aunt in Norwood, then drove Mapula to her brother's house in Cosmo City as she was working at The Dome early the following morning. Driving back I started to feel extreme hunger as I hadn't had a proper meal all day, and extreme fatigue as well, so much so that I was dozing off at the wheel. I decided to pull into the McDonald's along Beyers Naude drive in Honeydew and I ordered a Grand Chicken Spicy meal. It was a refreshing meal, and afterwards I thought it wouldn't be proper for me to leave Lerato by herself all night, even if she would be sedated. Besides, there was a big, comfy-looking chair by her bed. It wasn't the king-sized bed I'm used to but it would do. So I drove back to the hospital, less fatigued than before. I took my tablet and headphones to keep me company until I fell asleep and her nightgown from the boot to use as a blanket. It was around 11:15pm when I walked into the hospital, ready to sleep.
The sight which met me when I walked into her ward was shocking to say the least. She wasn't on her bed, and the bed itself looked like the scene of a huge fight. Lerato was half sitting, half lying on my would-be bed, the comfy looking chair, with a look of pain and confusion on her face that I won't forget anytime soon. I quickly figured out ukuthi seziyasha manje, but it was confusing because when I left she was being sedated, and she had indeed been given the sedative. Clearly in the 90+ minutes I had been gone the labour-inducing meds had done their job and her water broke. She had a nurse looking after her, a beautiful soul named Mbali. The epidural doctor was also there, I've forgotten his name so let's call him Dr Mjovo. The contractions were coming fast and looked very, very painful; my partner was acting like a crazy woman!! We had decided against doing ante-natal classes, so I was quite clueless on what I should be doing now. I decided holding her hand and trying to comfort her would be best. It was a futile exercise but I kept trying still.
Dr Mjovo wanted to start administering the epidural as Lerato was in unbearable pain. But the labour had progressed so quickly that she was now beyond the stage where they normally do the epidural, so he would have to be very careful. He started preparing his meds and needles, at this point I noticed that Mbali and Dr Mjovo are not the best of friends but I had bigger concerns. He told Lerato to sit with her legs hanging over the side of the bed, with her back facing him and arched sharply. This was easier said than done; her contractions were coming very fast with barely 30 seconds between them. He had initially planned to inject her between the contractions but this was now impossible; the epidural would have to be administered with the contractions, which meant Lerato had to keep absolutely still through the pain. Thus Mbali and I would have to try and keep her still by letting her hold our hands to squeeze out the pain. And boy could she squeeze!! At some point she took hold of my jeans and lifted me an inch or 2 off the floor.
Dr Mjovo cleaned her back, and then proceeded to drill into her spinal cord to inject the anaesthetic. I had lost track of time but that period when he was doing what he does were the scariest moments of my life. The list of everything which could go wrong was flying through my head: what if she twitches, what if she never walks again, what if he accidentally injects that thing into my son? She was doing her best to keep still, and I'll forever admire the bravery she showed on that day. Eventually Dr Mjovo asked if she could feel her legs and her buttocks. She answered no to both, and then suddenly realised that the pain was gone! Her relief filled the room, and we helped her lie back on the bed in her drugged state. She started shaking uncontrollably but Dr Mjovo assured us that this was normal with the epidural treatment. At this point I took the time to call her family and inform them of developments, in the chaos it had slipped my mind. Her mom and uncle were adamant that I should fetch them immediately as it was against their culture for the father to be in the room when the baby is delivered. I didn't much fancy leaving Lerato by herself so I declined as politely as I could. After informing my mother as well, I went back inside.
Around 1am (this was now Saturday morning, the 10th) we moved her to the delivery room as she was now fully dilated. The gynaecologist was on his way to deliver the baby. After the chaos and fighting of the past 2 hours, she was in a world of peace now so we took the time to laugh at her crazy antics and look forward to the little man on the way. She was still shaking, partly from the epidural and partly from the nerves. Her BP and heartbeat had improved significantly by now. The gynaecologist eventually arrived around 01:40am and he immediately went to work on her. The nurses set her legs up for delivery, at this point the boys head was apparently visible. I say apparently because I dared not look at what was happening down there. I've heard stories of men being so traumatised by the sight of their babies coming out of the birth canal that they lose their erections permanently. I quite like my erection and I'd rather not risk it, so from that point on I was posted firmly by her shoulder, with the nurses having put a cloth over the action area. As she couldn't feel anything, she was connected to a machine which measured her contractions, and the machine was indicating that it was now go time.
The gynae told her to start pushing, and push she did. I was holding her arm and motivating her throughout although I'm not convinced my motivation was necessary. I expected this process to take a while, but it was over in less than 5 minutes. She pushed 3 times and at exactly 01:52am the doctor pulled out a lump of flesh with our DNA written all over it. The little boy immediately took a deep breath and belted out the most beautiful scream I've ever heard; he has strong lungs, we both thought. After showing us his face, the nurses took him to a nearby table to clean him up. Neither Lerato nor I cried, I guess we were too shocked. While the doctor was stitching her up, I was vaguely aware of the umbilical cord and placenta somewhere beside him, both looking like mogodu. Still I dared not look at what he was working on. Mbali made a passing comment about how her daughters would be in danger from this handsome little boy. After they wiped him clean and put on his first nappy, they called me to come over and pick him up. I can't describe the feeling of holding my son in my hands for the first time, it was amazing. At 3.7kg, he wasn't a lightweight and he felt just right in my arms. Surprisingly, he had already stopped crying and was now sleeping peacefully, I guess he was quick to adjust.
After the doctor was done fixing her up, I took the little boy to sit on his mother's arms for the first time. The most beautiful moment in both our lives had arrived. The greatest job I'm ever gonna have had now begun. I never experienced having a father myself but I made a silent promise to be the best father ever to this little one. We gave him the names we had carefully selected for him months before he arrived: Ziphozonke Oratile.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Curse Of The Male Ego

I've been thinking a lot recently about the male ego. This was triggered by the recent story of a fatal road rage incident between a driver and a biker in Randburg.

The male ego is a fascinating thing. It is perhaps singularly responsible for the bulk of societal problems we face today, as well as a lot of the progress too. But I am most interested with how irrational it is, and yet it defines masculinity totally. Just think of the First 4 Women insurance ads (which, as stereotypical as they are, are so true). In the one ad, one guy is playing darts when the other guy puts his hand on the dartboard and dares him to shoot. Even though he gets his hand painfully pierced, he's still pleased with himself because he proved he can take a part to the hand, and looks around for approval. Imagine!!

While this is funny, it underlies a worrying aspect: the tendency of men in general to endanger themselves and those around them for the sole purpose of getting 'props' and no other reason. Just to show that you're 'The Man', king of your castle. It is most likely a legacy of past times, when women chose their mates based on who was physically stronger and dominant (still to be observed on Animal Planet today). The aim is to shake your wang in the faces of all other males in your vicinity, show them yours is biggest. So this is a primal instinct, equally genetic as it is taught.

But I think its time that we as men got smart and mature about this. For example, that road rage story: is there any reason why lives had to be lost there? Was there even supposed to be a confrontation at all? Sure, one or both of the men drove like an asshole, happens all the time on South African. Has anything ever come from someone confronting the other driver? When you choose to step out of your car to fight the other man, is the objective for the other guy to start driving better, or to just express your anger and get on with your life?

This is a bigger problem than simple road rage. Every week we hear stories of a man killing his entire family because he found out his wife/girlfriend wants to leave. He doesn't necessarily kill his family because of heartbreak or love (if that was the case, we'd all be murderers). Its a betrayal of the ego. He feels like less of a man for being unable to keep his wife submissive to him, he thinks of what his friends at the shebeen will say. The way he views himself as a macho man has been challenged, and thus everything around him must be destroyed. Because if his ego is touched, nothing else matters, not even his family or future. In other instances, a man tries to get a lady's attention and if she turns him down she must be raped. His ego was touched and he has to reassert his authority by destroying her life, to save his ego. There are countless other examples I can cite.

At some point this is a conversation that we need to tackle as men. Are we content to allow our lives to be short lived for the sake of feeling manly? Are we so insecure in how we value ourselves as men, that we are willing to sacrifice it all if our manliness is challenged? Who defines what a man is, how we care for those we love or how macho we look in the eyes of society? Is your self esteem so feeble, that it can only be defined in violence and blood? Its a tough conversation, but in this day and age tackling it head on is the brave & courageous thing to do. We are also raising future men, after all. Surely we don't want our sons to also sacrifice their lives on the altar of patriarchy.

Patriarchy. That's the word. That's the bull which has to be grabbed by the horns. But I've written enough, this is a topic for another day.

I rest.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Langa Does Struggle Songs

I bought my nephew Langa a guitar for his 5th birthday. First thing he did was sing some struggle songs, learned from his grandmother :)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

If Soccer Teams Were Women

If soccer teams were women:
  - Orlando Pirates is the love of my life, my main chick. I love her with all my heart, even though she makes me cry every now and then.  But when the chips are down, I can always depend on her
  - Kaizer Chiefs is the pretty, dumb girl in the neighbourhood who thinks she's all that because the taxi drivers are always hooting at her. She's been wanting me her whole life and she hates my main chick coz she doesn't understand what my main chick has that she doesn't. But besides her cheap weave, fake eyelashes and short skirt, she doesn't have anything of substance to offer
  - Mamelodi Sundowns is the daughter of the rich family. She drives the latest BMW but has been stuck in grade 10 for the past 4 years
  - Lamontville Golden Arrows and AmaZulu are my side chicks. They're cheap and easy. I use them for booty calls whenever I visit Durban and my main chick isn't around
  - Moroka Swallows is the cougar. She used to be very hot back in the day but has now depreciated.  She used to date my uncle and now she wants me to be her Ben10. Anever shame
  - Chippa United is the girl who thinks she deserves to be my girlfriend just because we go to church together. She's always sending me bible verses and asking if we can pray together. But besides her religion,  she's an empty vessel
  - Jomo Cosmos is the village bicycle, everybody uses her to practice their shooting skills. She never loses hope of finding Prince Charming though
  - Supersport United is the township nerd. Nobody takes any notice of her until she buys her parents a brand new house. Everybody admires her but nobody likes her
  - Bayern Munich is my celebrity crush. She's perfect in every way and is every guy's dream girl, just that she's unattainable.  I daydream about her whenever my main chick is giving me headaches
  - Bafana Bafana is my crazy baby mama. She's always giving me pain and heartache but I can't get away from her. We're stuck for life and my happiness is linked with her happiness,  unfortunately :(

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

War Stories

I love war stories. Whether in movies or written form, based on present day event or from long ago, I've always been fasinated by war. Of course, I'd never want to be engaged in a war myself. I'm Zulu, but not that Zulu. I just love the stories of bravery,  stupidity, recklessness and greed which go along with it. From Isandlwana to Waterloo, from Braveheart to Apocalypse Now, I can get lost forever in such epic events.

I recently came across a story which quickly became one of my favourites. I found it on a humour website called Cracked which is my best source for these. This one took place sometime in the 17th Century, when the Ottoman Empire (Turkey) had blockaded the Cossacks/Zaporozhians (Ukraine). During the blockade, Sultan Mehmed of the Ottomans wrote the below letter, openly defying the Zaporozhians:

I, the Sultan, son of Mohamed, brother of the Sun and Moon, grandson and vicegerent of God, sovereign of all kingdoms: of Macedonia, Babylonia, and Jerusalem, of Upper and Lower Egypt: king of kings, ruler of all that exists; extraordinary, invincible knight; constant guardian of the grave of Jesus Christ; trustee of God himself; hope and comfort of Moslems, confusion and great protector of Christians, command you, the Zaporozhian Cossacks, to surrender to me voluntarily and without any kind of resistance, and don't permit yourselves to trouble me with your attacks!

Turkish Sultan Mohamed

He was clearly trying to intimidate the enemy into submitting to him before he has to go through the trouble of actually killing anyone. What a coward!! The pen isn't always mightier than the sword, you know. The other guys saw through his obvious cowdung, and responded with my favourite grouping of words this side of the Redemption Song:

Zaporozhians - to the Turkish Sultan

You Turkish Satan, brother and comrade of the damned devil and secretary to Lucifer himself! What the hell kind of knight are you? The devil sh*ts and you and your army swallow it. You aren't fit to have the sons of Christians under you; we aren't afraid of your army, and we'll fight you on land and sea. You Babylonian busboy, Macedonian mechanic, Jerusalem beer brewer, Alexandrian goat skinner, swineherd of Upper and Lower Egypt, Armenian pig, Tatar goat, Kamenets hangman, Podolian thief, grandson of the Evil Serpent himself, and buffoon of all the world and the netherworld, fool of our God, swine's snout, mare's asshole, butcher's dog, unbaptized brow, may the devil steam your butt! That's how the Cossacks answer you, you nasty glob of spit! You're unfit to rule true Christians. We don't know the date because we don't have a calendar, the moon is in the sky, and the year is in a book, and the day is the same with us as with you, so go kiss our buttocks

-Chief Hetman Zaxarcenko with all the Zaporozhian Host

Isn't that just beautiful? Those are some of the most eloquent insults I've ever heard, and I doubt they've been topped ever since. Who ever knew that war could bring up your creative side so well? Maybe even our soldiers will come back from the Central African Republic to become master poets/songwriters.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Origins

Look at that picture. Isn't that one of the cutest things you've ever seen? Innocence, purity, happiness, a bright future. You can't help but think of anything else when you look at that picture. It's enough to make Darth Vader smile, honestly.

That is how all humans start out in life. Pure. Not a hint of badness anywhere, and you can't even imagine there being any negative traits in the future when you consider a tiny toddler. For all intents and purposes, all babies come into this world with positive prospects and nothing less. This is reflect in the names that parents give their children. In general African culture, there's a belief that when a baby is born with its fists clenched, it is holding on to its future, and a positive future at that.

As I said, this is how all humans start out. Including the "bad" ones. Each and every killer out there was once a cute baby. Every rapist, every pedophile, every hijacker, every armed robber, every con artist. They were once cute babies with nothing but good prospects. This is something which has always scared me. Go to your nearest creche and look at the bunch of toddlers on the playground: chances are that amongst the future doctors and engineers and accountants and pastors, you're also looking at the future convicts and gangsters and prostitutes. As hard as it may be, look at your own young child and consider their future as well. I've always been bothered by this. Where and when does the switch happen? At what point does a person look at the grandmother who raised him and think it's okay to force himself on her?

I think most people just find it easier to look at "bad" people and just assume that they've always been bad and they were always trouble makers even while young, but this is certainly not the case. Adolf Hitler himself, he was once a cute little baby at some point, he wasn't born with a desire to kill all Jewish people. And the logical conclusion to reach is, all negative people we see today are a result of society. All criminals are a result of their family structure. Sure, things like poverty and disease will exacerbate the situation, but at its core the roots of all such things are in the family and society.

In my own family, I've seen this dramatic change. I have a younger cousin that I grew up with, few years ago he was a cute child who cried at the slightest scratch and was never violent: he was almost everyone's favourite. Today, he's a school dropout, he's already been in jail a few times, and has had a taste of public justice due to his criminal ways. Five years ago, nobody would have imagined that he would turn out like this. I have a 4 year old nephew, without a doubt my favourite person in the world and he's as smart as they come. I can't even begin to imagine him growing up to be less than a role model to everyone around him.

But it all depends on us, society. We shape the future leaders and the future sluggards. We shape the future teachers and criminals. I wish that people would consider the kinds of adults they're going to raise before even considering making a child. Truth is, most adults are nowhere near equipped to raise another human being. Unfortunately, there's no qualification or screening required for you to make a baby; even the "least qualified"of society can contribute to population growth. You can't control other people, but you can control yourself. Think about the kind of parent you're gonna be. And if you've already made that baby, consider very well if you're raising someone you'll definitely be proud to call your product 30 years from now. Raise a man who will know the value of woman, and respect them enough to never even consider harming them.

Of course, I don't have a child of my own so I can't say I've got it figured out. But the least we can do is make sure that we're doing a good enough job. After all, raising another human being is the biggest responsibility you're ever gonna have. If you make sure that you're qualified at your job and you're the best you can be, what stops you from doing the same with your child?

I rest,
Mzwandile

Friday, September 14, 2012

Are We the People God Forgot?

By: Field Ruwe


Gripped by a sense of failure, I sat on the bench and stared at the horizon in the direction of my motherland. A jab of pain couldn’t let go.

“Are we the forgotten people?” I asked.

I felt my eyes fill, but fought back tears. The smile on the white people in the hall is what had brought me here, to consult with God. I stepped out because I could not share their happiness; their joy, and their pride as a people. They were happy that I had come to see what had made them exceptional.

The guest speaker had bruised my self-worth with his words.

“There’s nothing we have failed to achieve,” he said in his speech. His pose exuded a calm confidence. “We’ve explored, discovered, and invented. We’ve built a rocket to take us far and beyond…to our neighbors in the universe, and now we have this baby here to take care of Mars.”

In the middle of the hall was a model of NASA’s rover named “Curiosity.” Currently on Mars, the six-wheeled robot is helping scientists to study habitability, climate, and geology of Mars.

“Because we are a curious people, we have named him Curious,” the speaker said. “It’s the curiosity in us that has produced geniuses of this world, among them, Isaac Newton, The Wright Brothers, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs. We can drive, fly, and tweet. Now, Curious here is trying to make it possible for us to colonize the red planet.”

“God bless America!” someone in the audience shouted.

The hall rang with applause and cheers. I couldn’t partake. I knew what the speaker meant by “we.” I knew it the moment I had entered the hall and set my eyes on the robot. It was an ingenious piece of work that evoked the graffiti I had read on a dilapidated building across my street: “Why do you blacks think you are entitled to a free ride through life?”

“Indeed why?” I asked myself. “What is wrong with us? Aren’t we entitled to the same curiosity, the same happiness?”

“Yes you are.” I thought I heard a voice. “Happiness is everyone’s responsibility. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. The white people in the hall are happy because they have resolved to keep happy. Their success is their happiness. They are not sitting on a bench of failure like you blacks.”

“We’ve tried,” I said. “Each time we try, we are dragged down by the very white people you are talking about.”

“Rubbish! That’s the most damn thing I have heard in a long time. You ought to be ashamed of yourself blaming whites.”

“It is their fault,” I insisted. “In their effort to dominate us, they keep undermining our intelligence. They have put us at the top of the worst of mankind. Look at all the statistics. We are at the deep end. We’ve been at the bottom since we came into contact with them. They actually insist we are the worst.”

“And you believe them.”

“The world believes them and because it does, we are held in suspicion by all non-black people. When we present our ideas, they toss them out.”

“Have you tried to pick up the rejected ideas, brush off the dust, develop them yourselves to prove a point to the world?”

I hesitated.

“Well until you do, you will be blaming happy people for your bad statistic. They laugh when you blame slavery, colonialism, and all the baloney. Get off that bench, you lazy pessimistic whiner, and do what other non-white people are doing, creating their own happiness. Oh, one thing, happiness is hard work, remember that.”

I got up. There was no way I was going back in the hall. It was Saturday afternoon. I wearily jumped into my car and headed for my local.

It is a rendezvous for my people, a kind of intellectual center for African-Americans and Africans in the diaspora. Every Saturday evening we mingle, drink and laugh, and often entertain visiting academics, African politicians, and cultural figures.

Set in bistro style, it is our version of Speaker’s Corner in London’s Hyde Park. I call it a dynamic mirror of black consciousness. Anyone can get up and say what is on their mind as long as it is not a load of bull.

It is here I learned how splintered and greedy a black people we are. I learned that just because African-Americans are black does not mean they embrace us as their own. Riding on white success, African-Americans believe they are miles ahead of us. Actually, many do not see themselves as Africans.

“I am a black American,” one professor keeps saying. “I have no African ancestors or relatives that link me to Africa. It was damn of Jessie Jackson to coin that African-American crap.”

I also learned that black islanders do not think much of Africans. No matter how much hurricane Isaac pounds them, they are glad they are not on the most impoverished continent.

Of course North Africans are ashamed to be called Africans. And although Ethiopians, Somalis, and Northern Sudanese are part of sub-Sahara, they too carry with them their own prejudices. Sadly put, we are no one wants to be.

When I walked in, a bearded black man was on the podium talking about Obama.

“Like Biden said, if you don’t vote for him, they gonna put you all back in chains,” he told a small crowd of blacks seated in a well lit room.

I sat next to Diallo, an accomplice from Senegal and whispered a “hi.”

The speaker acknowledged my presence and continued. “I’m told a group of African-America pastors is calling on blacks to give Obama a ‘no’ vote for his support for gay marriage. They want to take us back to the Bush-bush days. For four years we black people have walked tall…”

I had jumped from the frying pan into the fire. Here the mood was that of a black on black exasperation. Black blood was at hypertension level. But again that’s where it’s been in blacks around the world.

We are ever bombarded by melancholic issues like racism, hunger, conflicts, poverty, disease, dictatorship, corruption, back-stabbing, blatant lies, and empty promises by our political leaders.

“How do we as a people become as happy as them?” I asked myself as I watched the bearded speaker blast black conservatives in the Republican Party—Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Clarence Thomas, Michael Steele, Herman Cain, Alan Keyes, Ron Christie, and all.

“They make black unity difficult to achieve,” he said.

I nodded.

I closed my eyes and felt my anger climbing in tandem. I was thinking about my own people in sub-Sahara Africa.

It is in black Africa that failure is deeply entrenched. It is here that 854 million blacks are locked in a time warp, content to live in anarchic and deplorable conditions. It is in Africa that the dream of a united Africa under one government, common citizenship and common destiny has eluded our political leaders.

Curious was still bothering me. All sorts of thoughts ricocheted through my mind. I felt the urge to speak and took to the podium as soon as the bearded man was done.

I spoke: “White people created their power on ideas. Why can’t we? Are we so lazy, we’ve left our plight in the hands of God? Are we to believe that this is who we are, a people without ideas?”

I paused. The audience was attentive.

“Let me ask an outrageous question. I have so often heard hardcore racists say that we are the cursed descendants of Ham, the “black” son of Noah. Are we really? Can someone please tell me we are not? If we are then it explains why we find ourselves in this abyss. But even if we are, we can pull ourselves out in the same way as other non-white people.”

I was expecting a comment or some sort of denunciation. There was none.

“Let’s forget the Ham nonsense and look at ourselves as a black people. Although black is no one’s favorite color because it symbolizes darkness, sorrow, and the primordial void, it is a color of power. It is authoritative. How then can we take pride in this color and be psychologically driven to become a happy and respected powerful people?

“I’ll answer. We must begin to convert physical power into mental power. Muscle power into brain power. That’s all we need to do. That’s what all successful people have done, Jews, Asians, and others.

“Today, Jews, victims of anti-Semitism, dominate most of the important institutions: academics, politics, the media, and sciences. Their success is the result of their own effort.

“Why can’t we, victims of racism, do the same?” I asked.

I insisted that the factors that work together to create Jewish wealth can be applied to blacks.

“First, like Jews, we must develop a culture of sticking together, hard work, education, and deferred gratification. We already have created an artistic community. We must now go scientific. Our children must enter college in significant numbers to study the sciences. We must produce scientists, engineers, and more doctors. We must have our own cars, trains…”

“We’ve heard that one before,” someone cut in. “It won’t work.”

“It’s a pity, isn’t it?” I responded. “Nothing works, so we don’t bother to try. In the Jewish community billionaires like De Beers’ Nicky Oppenheimer, New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, computer mogul Michael Dell, Google co-owner Sergey Brin, and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg invest in the ingenuity and creativity of their own people. Why can’t our rich black men and women do the same?”

The 2012 Forbes magazine features an African as the wealthiest black. Nigerian Aliko Dangote has a net wealth of $11.2 billion. Also, Nigerian Mike Adenuga is worth $4.3 billion, and South Africa’s Patrice Motsepe is at $2.7 billion.

The U.S. has black billionaires among them Oprah Winfrey ($2.7 billion) and Bob Johnson of BET fame ($1.1 billion). There are hundreds of black millionaires in the movie, entertainment, and sports industries like Spike Lee, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, musicians Jay-Z and Beyoncé, and golfer Tiger Woods. By last year the salaries of black athletes in the NBA, NFL, and MLB totaled over $5 billion.

“Ladies and gentlemen, black wealth in the world is estimated at more than $100 billion,” I said. “Our children need just a portion to elevate our race to acceptable standards. Let’s invest in their ingenuity and create happiness of our own.”

Field Ruwe is a US-based Zambian media practitioner, historian, and author. He is a PhD candidate at George Fox University and serves as an adjunct professor (lecturer) in Boston. ©Ruwe2012

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Economic Emancipation - Let's Get The Basics Right

By now, damn near everybody knows about the calls for the nationalization of the mines, banks and land by the ANC youth league and various other parties. Personally, I think it's about bloody time, we're 17 years overdue on such initiatives. The way that the land issue has been handled so far (willing buyer-willing seller etc) has been a flaw from the very beginning. If equality is to be realized in our lifetime, then bold steps have to be taken, baby steps wont do. As things stand, South Africa is just a few service-delivery protests away from anarchy. But then I suppose that the first democratic administration had to adopt a softly-softly approach, for the sake of peace, preserving the strength of the economy and to appease the international community. T'was a thin line to walk, really.

However, in our quest for wealth redistribution, we cannot be haphazard in our approach. Reality has to lead the way. And the reality is, the land that was taken away from our forefathers for the sake of mining and farming is not the same land that we want to take back today. Back then, just about everyone lived off the produce of their own land. And, if not, there was always a small shop in the area to cater for the general needs of the community. Times have changed. Very few people live off the produce of their own land. And I'm willing to stick my neck out and say absolutely nobody would like to go back to those times. Currently, our economy is heavily dependent on the mining sector and the resources sector as a whole. In fact, over 45% of the total market capitalization of the JSE comprises solely of the resources sector. The mining companies are always the leaders in whatever the market does on any given day. And, as the recent recession clearly showed, we cannot undermine the effects of the market performance on the rest of the "real" economy. Also, South Africa is a producer of vast amounts of agricultural commodities. Wines, sugar, corn, wheat, you name is, we have it. And this sector employs millions.

Now, clearly, this nationalization matter is not something to be approached with a ndloviyangena attidude. If we're going to take over the mines, banks and the land, than we have to be sure we know what we're going to do with these assets afterwards. So how many black mine managers do we have in the country? How many do we have currently in training, ready to take over the reigns? How many black bankers do we have? Would we be willing to pay these bankers and mine managers the astronomical salaries they are currently being paid by the private sector? More crucially, would we be able to maintain the profitability and productivity that these banks and mines have maintained for centuries.

Regardless of how we may dispise the practices of the apartheid administration, we cannot be blind to the economic behemoth that they created on this continent. Even when there were international oil sanctions against South Africa, the spineless leaders back then said "F**k the world" and created SASOL, our very own petrol producer, the first company to ever produce petrol from coals and a large scale and, currently, the biggest company doing so in the world, by a galactic margin. I can count other companies of South African origin which are now international giants, the likes of SAB, De Beers etc. These economic powerhouses were not built in a short while, and the transfer of their wealth will also not happen overnight. (Sidetrack: If you'd like to know about the more sinister achievements of the apartheid government, I suggest you get yourself a book titled "How South Africa Built Six Atom Bombs" by Al Venter. It's agonizingly boring read, but the facts presented therein will amaze you)

At the end of the day, if we as black South Africans want to really own the factors of economic productivity in this country, we first have to make sure that we have the skills to and the will to run those factors productively and sustainably. I'm sure we have all seen or heard of some farmer who was given a farm to run, and actually ran that farm to the ground. It's the same thing that happened in Zimbabwe after the land grabs started. And even now, many years since that episode and after the adoption of the US dollar as the officially currency, Zimbabwe is nowhere near a full recovery. And it's a well documented fact that the Zimbabwean black population is better educated than the South African black population.

Let's start with the basics first. South Africa has all the necessary resources in order to become an economic powerhouse. But, if we are unable to use those resources effectively, then all our potential will be wasted. Let's capitalize on what we have. Owning a pure pedigree racehorse means nothing if you don't know how to ride it and keep it competitive. Let us ready ourselves ready ourselves to take over the reigns completely. Let us build enterpreneurial and management skills, not just workers who are only qualified to earn just more than minimum wage for the rest of their lives. Then, and only then, can we start making demands for ownership.

I rest,
Mzwandile

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Chessboard Of Life



I love playing chess. I’ve been playing it since primary school. I don’t play it that often, and I’m not particularly good at it either. But I thoroughly enjoy playing it when I do. It’s a game of strategies and tactics. There are set rules and regulations for each and every piece on the board, different rules for each piece. Yet the possibilities of play are endless. You can use the very same strategy of play and have a different game every time.

I find there to be many similarities between the chess game and the game we call life. In the same way that there are unchangeable rules and regulations in chess that you cannot change, there are natural and societal laws of life that you can never change. However, in the very same way that you can use the rules of chess to affect a different outcome everytime, you can always use the laws of life to you advantage. As you may know, chess was developed to be an illustration of the battlefield, with the two sets representing two equal armies fighting against each, with victory being decided by which king is captured first. In this piece, I will try to draw certain parallels between chess and real life, and show how you can use these parallels to develop a winning attitude towards life. I will do this by going through each of the pieces of a chess army and what they may represent in our lives. This is my personal interpretation, not a definitive work in any way. Hopefully, those who don’t play chess might also learn a thing or two. It’s a long piece so bear with me. Here goes:


The Pawns

The pawns on a chessboard represent the foot soldiers in an army. They are slow in movement, and they are very limited in terms of the amount of damage they can inflict on the enemy. They only move in one direction and that’s forwards. They can only move one square at a time, although you can move two squares at the very beginning only. And they can only kill the enemy in a diagonal one-square move. Many chess players will choose to sacrifice the pawns to protect the rest of their pieces, and the pawns are individually less powerful than the rest.

The pawns represent the little things we do in life in order to keep going. Waking up in the morning, exercising regularly, eating healthily, going to church, reading your Bible, being well dressed and presentable, saying “please” and “thank you”, cleanliness, punctuality, spending time with family and friends, obedience etc. The little things that we tend to take for granted. You might even skip them every now and then, or altogether. They’re tedious and boring, and you’re never really aware of their benefit in your day-to-day. However, this is what keeps you going. This is what kicks you off in the morning. This is your fuel when you’re empty. It’s not very exciting, but it’s essential to the sustainability of your success. Never neglect the little things in your life, the habits which lead to success. It’s the baby steps that lead to giant strides.

Speaking of which, during a game of chess, if you manage to successfully manoeuvre one of your pawns to the opposite end of the board, you are allowed to exchange it for one of your more powerful pieces which may have been captured before!! So you see, if you manage to keep doing the little things, they will eventually become very big things you can use to your advantage.


The Rook/Castle

The rook sits in the corner of the chessboard. It represents the towers which would normally be at each corner of the wall surrounding a city/castle, and the sentries (lookouts) who would be stationed at the top of each tower. Their job was to lookout for any impending attacks, and to report on the progress during battle. The rook itself can only move and kill in a vertical or horizontal direction, but it can move across any number of squares, whether forwards or backwards, to the left or right. Like most of the chess pieces, it cannot travel over another piece on the board.

For me, the rook represents your sense of diligence. How aware are you of your life? How often do you perform a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) on your life? Are you aware of any cracks which may have started appearing on your wall? Can you sit back, take a bird’s-eye view of your life and be honest with yourself about where you’re at? Can you successfully protect your territory from infiltration by the enemy, whether through your senses, pride, complacency etc? Have you perhaps allowed sin to take over your life and you don’t even realise it? Sometimes we become too comfortable in our past victories or whatever little safety nets we may have in our lives, and we take our safety for granted. Every now and then, you need to perform an honest, all-round assessment of yourself to see if you’re on the right track, and destroy any elements which may be taking out your infantry.


The Knight

The knight represents the mounted soldiers, those who fight on horseback. These are the flexible ones, they are trained in the art of war and know how to lead the foot soldiers. They are brutal and unpredictable. The knight itself is limited in the distance it can travel across the board, but it is unique in that it’s the only piece that doesn’t travel in a straight line and, importantly, it’s the only piece which is allowed to jump over other pieces which may be in it’s way!! It moves and kills in an L-shape, 3 squares at a time (either 1+2 or 2+1) and it can move in any direction desired. Because it doesn’t move in a straight line and can jump over other pieces, it is perhaps the most difficult piece to predict (well, to me anyway).

For me, the knight represents your flexibility, your ideas, your creativity, your adaptability and your ability to think out of the box. What are you doing in order to achieve your goals and vision? What’s your plan? What’s your backup plan in case the first plan doesn’t work? How do you react to failure and rejection? Are you open to learning new ideas and processes? Can you recognize the weaknesses of your competition, and use those weakness as your strength? Can you think on your feet, in the thick of battle, or do you tend to panic and freeze? These are essential questions to ask yourself, and good skills to acquire. The world is an ever-changing place and if you don’t change with it, you will be left behind.


The Bishop

The bishop represents the spiritual leader/seer during a time of war. In ancient times, before going to war a king would always consult his senior bishop/prophet/sangoma/medicine man, so that they would have good fortune during the war. At times, the bishop would accompany the army to battle to provide blessing, and to also keep the king informed of the plans of the gods during the battle, and advise accordingly. The bishop piece in chess is a powerful piece. Like the rook above, it can move and kill in any direction it desires (forward of backward), across any number of squares. However, unlike the rook, it can only move diagonally. This means that any one bishop will always be limited to one colour of squares, it cannot move across colours.

For me, the bishop represents your support structure, your mentors and advisors. People who have a deeper insight than you have concerning the path you’re walking on. It could be your pastor, and business leader, a teacher or lecturer, youth leader, a parent, a professional in the field etc. You need to surround yourself with people who can provide you with inspiration and motivation, and people who can give your proper and relevant guidance. People who have walked your current path and seen where you’re going, and they can give your pointers along the way. This can make your journey much shorter and more efficient, as you can learn from their mistakes so you don’t have to commit them yourself. Find role models, people who believe in your vision, and leverage off their knowledge and experience.



The Queen

The queen is arguably the most powerful and versatile piece on the chessboard. You can see it as a combination of the rook and the bishop above. It can move in absolutely any direction it desires (forward, backward, left, right AND diagonally) and across any number of squares as well. However, it can only move in a straight line and it can’t jump over other pieces like the knight. It is a very powerful destroyer as it has fewer rules governing it and can infiltrate the enemy faster than any other piece (it had to be a woman neh, go figure).

For me, the queen represents your mental and spiritual tools. Your faith and your knowledge. How much do you know about the enemy, and how much confidence do you have in yourself to overcome? What have you studied? What have you observed? How can you put your knowledge to good use? Do you believe in the promises that God made in the bible? Do you understand those promises and the conditions attached to them? Have you applied yourself to learning so that you can acquire those blessings quicker and more efficiently? Does your faith remain solid and firm through the storms and the persecutions? How is your mental strength? Are you easily discouraged or do you keep fighting even after one arm has been cut off? What explosive powers do you have inside of you? This is the power of the queen. Faith and knowledge/wisdom. A combination that cannot be held back by even the universe itself. Harness this power and your victory over the enemy is all but confirmed.


The King

The most important piece on the whole chessboard. The aim of the whole game is to capture the enemy’s king or render him immobile, all the while protecting your own king from capture. The king is very similar in movement to the queen above, in the sense that it can move in any direction (forward, backward, left right and diagonally). However, the main difference is that it can only move one square at a time. And because the king is the centre of the whole game, it is rarely used as an attacking piece. Indeed, all the other pieces are used to make sure the enemy doesn’t come anywhere near the king. Boring piece then, this. Sometimes you even forget it’s on the board.

However, all defences can fall eventually. There’s a play in chess called Check. This is when the enemy is in a position where they could potentially capture your king, but you can still escape somehow, whether by moving your king from that position, capturing the enemy piece that’s threatening your king or putting another one of your pieces between the king and the enemy. In this instance, you have to do something to protect your king immediately. A Checked position only lasts for one move, then you have to do something about it, otherwise you lose your king. Then there’s the final blow called Checkmate. This is the end of the game. This is when the enemy has your king in Check as above, but you have no way of escaping capture. Whatever move you make you can’t escape. This is the objective of the game, to get the other person’s king in Checkmate, as you have won the game in this way.

For me, the king represents what is most important to you: your salvation. This is the objective of life. Preserving your life beyond the 80 years you will live on this planet. And, whether you realise it or not, EVERYTHING in life is centred around your “king”. Whether you’re protecting your king or exposing it to the enemy, this is what matters, this is the essence of life. Everything else you do with your life leads up to this. You should use all that you have to protect your king. Even if everything else in your life has to be sacrificed, if you sacrifice to protect your king, and you do so successfully, you have won!! Like the king, salvation can be boring to think about. Indeed, most people only remember salvation at funerals. It’s limited in terms of its applications to your life here on earth. It’s a far-off vision, something only old people should worry about. But that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to think. He wants you to neglect your king, and you only wake up when he says “Checkmate!”. Don’t do that. Don’t neglect your king. Protect your king at all times. Nothing is worth compromising the safety of your king, no matter how exciting it might look at the time. Your king is important. Your salvation is the objective of the whole game of life. Make sure you win.

There are times when the enemy will have you in Check. You will fall into temptation and sin. You will betray Jesus. You will be unfaithful. You will fall on your journey. And the devil will accuse you and tell you that you’ve lost your salvation because you’re now in his hands through your sin. Most people tend to think Check is the end. Once they’ve fallen into that trap, it’s over, the king is lost. But it’s not lost. You can ALWAYS get out of a checked position. Even if you’re surrounded all over, it’s not over. Sometimes the enemy will try and fool you into thinking he’s got you in Checkmate but he hasn’t. It’s only check, but he doesn’t want you to see the way out. If you have an opportunity to get out, get out!! The only time it’s over is when the enemy says “Checkmate” and it really is Checkmate. And Checkmate is death. It’s only over when one of you is dead. If you’re still breathing, you’re not out of the game. Never forget that.



Castling

In closing, there’s a move in Chess called Castling. This move can only be made once in the game. You “castle” by moving your king two squares towards the rook, and moving the rook to the other side of the king. It’s a rarely used move, and only experienced players will “castle” during an average game, usually to protect the king from a potential checkmate and not as an offensive move. But it’s a game-changer. It’s the only time when you’re allowed to move more than one piece at once, and in one move you can get yourself into a position that would normally have taken you five moves. However, there are strict conditions attached to castling:
  • Both the king and the rook cannot have moved prior to castling. In other words, the castling move must be the first move for both the rook and king. For this reason, you can only castle one during a game
  • There cannot be any pieces between the rook and king at the time of castling
  • You cannot use the castling move to capture one of the enemy’s pieces, it’s not an offensive move
For me, the castling move represents the curveballs that life tends to throw at your from time to time. That moment when you’re placed in a corner and you have to make a huge, life-changing decision. And such a decision will transform everything. It will move you away from family, it will make you more than a few enemies, it will bankrupt you, it will damn-near kill you. But you have to make the move. And in the process of making that move, you have to keep your king alive, protect your king at all times. Sometimes you have to take that risk. You have to leave everything behind and chase your dreams. Sometimes you’ll be forced to leave everything behind. Life will rip everything away from you and leave you naked. Through it all, don’t forget your king. You’re still alive, it’s not over yet.


Your move, mate.