The Cookie Crumbler

The Chessboard Of Life

2011-10-03T17:53:00.000+02:00

I love playing chess. I’ve been playing it since primary school. I don’t play it that often, and I’m not particularly good at it either. But I thoroughly enjoy playing it when I do. It’s a game of strategies and tactics. There are set rules and regulations for each and every piece on the board, different rules for each piece. Yet the possibilities of play are endless. You can use the very same strategy of play and have a different game every time.

I find there to be many similarities between the chess game and the game we call life. In the same way that there are unchangeable rules and regulations in chess that you cannot change, there are natural and societal laws of life that you can never change. However, in the very same way that you can use the rules of chess to affect a different outcome everytime, you can always use the laws of life to you advantage. As you may know, chess was developed to be an illustration of the battlefield, with the two sets representing two equal armies fighting against each, with victory being decided by which king is captured first. In this piece, I will try to draw certain parallels between chess and real life, and show how you can use these parallels to develop a winning attitude towards life. I will do this by going through each of the pieces of a chess army and what they may represent in our lives. This is my personal interpretation, not a definitive work in any way. Hopefully, those who don’t play chess might also learn a thing or two. It’s a long piece so bear with me. Here goes:

The Pawns

The pawns on a chessboard represent the foot soldiers in an army. They are slow in movement, and they are very limited in terms of the amount of damage they can inflict on the enemy. They only move in one direction and that’s forwards. They can only move one square at a time, although you can move two squares at the very beginning only. And they can only kill the enemy in a diagonal one-square move. Many chess players will choose to sacrifice the pawns to protect the rest of their pieces, and the pawns are individually less powerful than the rest.

The pawns represent the little things we do in life in order to keep going. Waking up in the morning, exercising regularly, eating healthily, going to church, reading your Bible, being well dressed and presentable, saying “please” and “thank you”, cleanliness, punctuality, spending time with family and friends, obedience etc. The little things that we tend to take for granted. You might even skip them every now and then, or altogether. They’re tedious and boring, and you’re never really aware of their benefit in your day-to-day. However, this is what keeps you going. This is what kicks you off in the morning. This is your fuel when you’re empty. It’s not very exciting, but it’s essential to the sustainability of your success. Never neglect the little things in your life, the habits which lead to success. It’s the baby steps that lead to giant strides.

Speaking of which, during a game of chess, if you manage to successfully manoeuvre one of your pawns to the opposite end of the board, you are allowed to exchange it for one of your more powerful pieces which may have been captured before!! So you see, if you manage to keep doing the little things, they will eventually become very big things you can use to your advantage.

The Rook/Castle

The rook sits in the corner of the chessboard. It represents the towers which would normally be at each corner of the wall surrounding a city/castle, and the sentries (lookouts) who would be stationed at the top of each tower. Their job was to lookout for any impending attacks, and to report on the progress during battle. The rook itself can only move and kill in a vertical or horizontal direction, but it can move across any number of squares, whether forwards or backwards, to the left or right. Like most of the chess pieces, it cannot travel over another piece on the board.

For me, the rook represents your sense of diligence. How aware are you of your life? How often do you perform a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) on your life? Are you aware of any cracks which may have started appearing on your wall? Can you sit back, take a bird’s-eye view of your life and be honest with yourself about where you’re at? Can you successfully protect your territory from infiltration by the enemy, whether through your senses, pride, complacency etc? Have you perhaps allowed sin to take over your life and you don’t even realise it? Sometimes we become too comfortable in our past victories or whatever little safety nets we may have in our lives, and we take our safety for granted. Every now and then, you need to perform an honest, all-round assessment of yourself to see if you’re on the right track, and destroy any elements which may be taking out your infantry.

The Knight

The knight represents the mounted soldiers, those who fight on horseback. These are the flexible ones, they are trained in the art of war and know how to lead the foot soldiers. They are brutal and unpredictable. The knight itself is limited in the distance it can travel across the board, but it is unique in that it’s the only piece that doesn’t travel in a straight line and, importantly, it’s the only piece which is allowed to jump over other pieces which may be in it’s way!! It moves and kills in an L-shape, 3 squares at a time (either 1+2 or 2+1) and it can move in any direction desired. Because it doesn’t move in a straight line and can jump over other pieces, it is perhaps the most difficult piece to predict (well, to me anyway).

For me, the knight represents your flexibility, your ideas, your creativity, your adaptability and your ability to think out of the box. What are you doing in order to achieve your goals and vision? What’s your plan? What’s your backup plan in case the first plan doesn’t work? How do you react to failure and rejection? Are you open to learning new ideas and processes? Can you recognize the weaknesses of your competition, and use those weakness as your strength? Can you think on your feet, in the thick of battle, or do you tend to panic and freeze? These are essential questions to ask yourself, and good skills to acquire. The world is an ever-changing place and if you don’t change with it, you will be left behind.

The Bishop

The bishop represents the spiritual leader/seer during a time of war. In ancient times, before going to war a king would always consult his senior bishop/prophet/sangoma/medicine man, so that they would have good fortune during the war. At times, the bishop would accompany the army to battle to provide blessing, and to also keep the king informed of the plans of the gods during the battle, and advise accordingly. The bishop piece in chess is a powerful piece. Like the rook above, it can move and kill in any direction it desires (forward of backward), across any number of squares. However, unlike the rook, it can only move diagonally. This means that any one bishop will always be limited to one colour of squares, it cannot move across colours.

For me, the bishop represents your support structure, your mentors and advisors. People who have a deeper insight than you have concerning the path you’re walking on. It could be your pastor, and business leader, a teacher or lecturer, youth leader, a parent, a professional in the field etc. You need to surround yourself with people who can provide you with inspiration and motivation, and people who can give your proper and relevant guidance. People who have walked your current path and seen where you’re going, and they can give your pointers along the way. This can make your journey much shorter and more efficient, as you can learn from their mistakes so you don’t have to commit them yourself. Find role models, people who believe in your vision, and leverage off their knowledge and experience.

The Queen

The queen is arguably the most powerful and versatile piece on the chessboard. You can see it as a combination of the rook and the bishop above. It can move in absolutely any direction it desires (forward, backward, left, right AND diagonally) and across any number of squares as well. However, it can only move in a straight line and it can’t jump over other pieces like the knight. It is a very powerful destroyer as it has fewer rules governing it and can infiltrate the enemy faster than any other piece (it had to be a woman neh, go figure).

For me, the queen represents your mental and spiritual tools. Your faith and your knowledge. How much do you know about the enemy, and how much confidence do you have in yourself to overcome? What have you studied? What have you observed? How can you put your knowledge to good use? Do you believe in the promises that God made in the bible? Do you understand those promises and the conditions attached to them? Have you applied yourself to learning so that you can acquire those blessings quicker and more efficiently? Does your faith remain solid and firm through the storms and the persecutions? How is your mental strength? Are you easily discouraged or do you keep fighting even after one arm has been cut off? What explosive powers do you have inside of you? This is the power of the queen. Faith and knowledge/wisdom. A combination that cannot be held back by even the universe itself. Harness this power and your victory over the enemy is all but confirmed.

The King

The most important piece on the whole chessboard. The aim of the whole game is to capture the enemy’s king or render him immobile, all the while protecting your own king from capture. The king is very similar in movement to the queen above, in the sense that it can move in any direction (forward, backward, left right and diagonally). However, the main difference is that it can only move one square at a time. And because the king is the centre of the whole game, it is rarely used as an attacking piece. Indeed, all the other pieces are used to make sure the enemy doesn’t come anywhere near the king. Boring piece then, this. Sometimes you even forget it’s on the board.

However, all defences can fall eventually. There’s a play in chess called Check. This is when the enemy is in a position where they could potentially capture your king, but you can still escape somehow, whether by moving your king from that position, capturing the enemy piece that’s threatening your king or putting another one of your pieces between the king and the enemy. In this instance, you have to do something to protect your king immediately. A Checked position only lasts for one move, then you have to do something about it, otherwise you lose your king. Then there’s the final blow called Checkmate. This is the end of the game. This is when the enemy has your king in Check as above, but you have no way of escaping capture. Whatever move you make you can’t escape. This is the objective of the game, to get the other person’s king in Checkmate, as you have won the game in this way.

For me, the king represents what is most important to you: your salvation. This is the objective of life. Preserving your life beyond the 80 years you will live on this planet. And, whether you realise it or not, EVERYTHING in life is centred around your “king”. Whether you’re protecting your king or exposing it to the enemy, this is what matters, this is the essence of life. Everything else you do with your life leads up to this. You should use all that you have to protect your king. Even if everything else in your life has to be sacrificed, if you sacrifice to protect your king, and you do so successfully, you have won!! Like the king, salvation can be boring to think about. Indeed, most people only remember salvation at funerals. It’s limited in terms of its applications to your life here on earth. It’s a far-off vision, something only old people should worry about. But that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to think. He wants you to neglect your king, and you only wake up when he says “Checkmate!”. Don’t do that. Don’t neglect your king. Protect your king at all times. Nothing is worth compromising the safety of your king, no matter how exciting it might look at the time. Your king is important. Your salvation is the objective of the whole game of life. Make sure you win.

There are times when the enemy will have you in Check. You will fall into temptation and sin. You will betray Jesus. You will be unfaithful. You will fall on your journey. And the devil will accuse you and tell you that you’ve lost your salvation because you’re now in his hands through your sin. Most people tend to think Check is the end. Once they’ve fallen into that trap, it’s over, the king is lost. But it’s not lost. You can ALWAYS get out of a checked position. Even if you’re surrounded all over, it’s not over. Sometimes the enemy will try and fool you into thinking he’s got you in Checkmate but he hasn’t. It’s only check, but he doesn’t want you to see the way out. If you have an opportunity to get out, get out!! The only time it’s over is when the enemy says “Checkmate” and it really is Checkmate. And Checkmate is death. It’s only over when one of you is dead. If you’re still breathing, you’re not out of the game. Never forget that.

Castling

In closing, there’s a move in Chess called Castling. This move can only be made once in the game. You “castle” by moving your king two squares towards the rook, and moving the rook to the other side of the king. It’s a rarely used move, and only experienced players will “castle” during an average game, usually to protect the king from a potential checkmate and not as an offensive move. But it’s a game-changer. It’s the only time when you’re allowed to move more than one piece at once, and in one move you can get yourself into a position that would normally have taken you five moves. However, there are strict conditions attached to castling:

Both the king and the rook cannot have moved prior to castling. In other words, the castling move must be the first move for both the rook and king. For this reason, you can only castle one during a game

There cannot be any pieces between the rook and king at the time of castling

You cannot use the castling move to capture one of the enemy’s pieces, it’s not an offensive move

For me, the castling move represents the curveballs that life tends to throw at your from time to time. That moment when you’re placed in a corner and you have to make a huge, life-changing decision. And such a decision will transform everything. It will move you away from family, it will make you more than a few enemies, it will bankrupt you, it will damn-near kill you. But you have to make the move. And in the process of making that move, you have to keep your king alive, protect your king at all times. Sometimes you have to take that risk. You have to leave everything behind and chase your dreams. Sometimes you’ll be forced to leave everything behind. Life will rip everything away from you and leave you naked. Through it all, don’t forget your king. You’re still alive, it’s not over yet.

Your move, mate.

What's Your Inspiration?

2011-09-20T12:40:00.003+02:00

I've had this question directed at me many times before, and I'm almost certain I'm gonna continue hearing it going forward. I've never had a direct answer, mostly because I hate answering such vague questions (my close friends will confirm this) but also because there's so much that inspires me. In this article, I will try and list a few (just a few) of those things and hopefully drive the reader to discover their own drivers in life.

I was raised in Umlazi by my mother, her sisters and my many grandmothers, and my earliest years were spent going back and forth between my one grandmother's house at J-section and my other grandmother's house at B-section. Staying there, I was exposed to the best and the worst that the township life has to offer. I can honestly say right now that besides my mother's two brothers, before I got to high school I never really had any positive male role models (my father passed away when I was five months old and until recently, I was never close to my father's side of the family). So I had to look around the neighbourhood to find male role models, men I could possibly aspire to be one day. And when I looked, what I saw shocked me.

Even at the tender age of 8, I was looking at the men around me, all these men who wanted me to call them Uncle and I was thinking "I don't wanna be like this". I was looking at these men who smelled permanently of Smirnoff Vodka and Castle Milk Stout and were eyeing my sister and I was thinking "I don't want to be this kind of man". I would hear them telling stories of how they beat their girlfriends up just for the heck of it, and they would advise me ukuthi "Umfazi uyashaywa mshana" and I would look at my mother, sister and aunts and think "I don't wanna do that". I would look at this man who was living off his mother's pension at the age of 27 and still making babies all over the place (and his mother would raise those babies from her pension) and I would think "Hello no!!"..... and so I decided, at that young age, that I would strive to be the opposite of everything I was observing in these "men" who surrounded me. I don't really remember how the thought process went in my head. I doubt I had even developed a solid thought process at the time. But even back then, I made that decision, which has shaped the way I view life for as long as I can remember. I was also motivated by tales that I used to hear about my father (apparently he was an exceptional man and teacher) and I somehow knew that he would have raised me to be different from all of this.

However, a few years later I had another milestone which has also shaped how I view life. In 1995 my mother bought a house at W-section in Umlazi and the three of us (me, my mother and my sister) moved there. It was a new development and we were one of the first families to move there, so there were very few houses and even fewer potential friends. However, there was a public library just down the road. And with a drought of things to do when I came back from school, I started visiting the library, on an almost daily basis. And what an effect this had on me!! In-between reading Obelix & Asterix, The Famous Five, The Hardy Boys and Sweet Valley High (don't judge me), I also read a lot of the more serious books on history, culture, mathematics, astronomy etc etc. And I was always fascinated by all these people I was reading about who had achieved extraordinary things. Then one day I had an epiphany. "If these men and these women could do it, what's stopping you? If these men and these women could master it, what's stopping you?" And that's when my obsession with exceeding the average was solidified in me. I went through all high school with the mindset that there was absolutely no reason whatsoever why I couldn't achieve top marks in all my subjects all the time, no exception. And it worked!! I won't go into the detail (bragging is sooo 2010) but it worked.

What's the point of all this? One of the things which is keeping black, township raised people from rising above the status quo is the view that this is the way it is and there's no way to change. We are raised to conform to the way things are done. If you try to raise the bar, you are accused of being a model-C (till today, there are many people who struggle to believe that I never went to a model-C school, that I was educated in the township from A to Z). Everyone wants to be like everyone else. This is your lot, black man, conform, do as the rest do. I thank God that He blessed me with a different mindset, a desire to succeed through it all. As I've always said, God didn't give me this oversized head for nothing.

I've just listed two of my inspirations here, those that were developed somewhere inside my head. There's a lot, lot more and I will go into these in a future piece. But I challenge you to find your inspiration as well. Find a reason to push boundaries, to challenge the norm, to be the benchmark. Be inspired to be an inspiration. Make people envy you. You have it inside of you. No, it's not an option, it's your responsibility.

Give me your thoughts in the comments section below.

I rest........

Christian Tendencies vs Christ-like Behavior

2011-07-24T20:33:00.000+02:00

One thing that you tend to quickly realize when you’re always surrounded by people who claim to be Christians is the blatant way in which they use the Bible and Christian values to hide their very non-Christian tendencies. There’s a lot of smokescreen religiousness inside the house of God, and that’s the reason why a number of people remain unconvinced of Christ.

For example, suppose you offend a Christian somehow, say, they swear at you. The normal, human reaction would be to retaliate, of course. But because this person you’ve offended is a Christian, he knows he can’t retaliate, at least not in public if his Christian faith is public knowledge. He has to brush this off, “turn the other cheek” and walk away, and ideally he should forget this happened. But no, this is not what happens. The typical Christian will say “You have sworn at me, but it is against my Christian faith to take revenge, so I forgive you my brother, I will pray for you”. Very sweet words then, but it’s wrong because you know very well that is NOT what he means. He isn’t forgiving you just like that, no. he’s saying these words because he wants you to feel bad for daring to offend a Christian, and he wants you to apologize! He’s guilt-tripping you, as only a Christian person can. And he’s doing it for his own ego. Not to teach you to not do it again, not to show you love. Purely for his ego, that’s all.

There’s a variety of other instances, examples that can be drawn up where Christians use their “faith” to take advantage of other people. It’s a pity because this does not help anyone, least of all themselves. They are no different from the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law, those whom the Lord Jesus was never shy to call curses upon, because they were abusing the authority given to them. And it is because of pretenders like these that you have people who refuse to be invited to churches, not because they are opposed to the Gospel, but because they have been exposed to such horrible examples. I know of people whose parents are pastors and priests and hold positions of authority in their churches. These people grew up inside a church, but as grown-ups they want to have nothing to do with any churchy stuff. You ask them why, and they tell you about the bad examples they saw in their own parents. People who turned the Bible upside-down so they could achieve their own short-sighted agendas, while doing damage to the rest of the Kingdom.

Let us strive to show Christ in everything we do. Let’s emulate Christ. He said “Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Only is this way can we multiply the talents that have been given to us. By exhibit Christian tendencies (things which have become expected of Christians over the years) instead of true Christ-like behaviours, then we are truly wasting our time. It is better for you to enjoy your life here on earth and give pleasure to your flesh openly, then to live a cloaked life and lose your salvation anyway.

Give a monkey too much power

2011-07-12T17:12:00.003+02:00

The Sterile Motherland

2011-06-21T19:55:00.005+02:00

There's really nothing in the world which gets under my skin more than when I look at the conditions of the "dark continent", our land, Africa. Our continent has served as a lowly-paid prostitute for the rest of the planet for as long as anyone can remember. From the times of the great general Hannibal, when Rome razed Carthage to the ground, to present day, Africa has always been associated with war, famine, disease, corruption and every other plague you can think of. It's become common that when a negative event is observed anywhere on the continent, people utter the phrase TIA (This Is Africa), because nothing good can be expected from us anyway.

And the reason why this pisses me off so much is because it is all so unnecessary. And it by no means random. This land has been systemically raped, plundered and left for dead over the generations, by the Europeans, Asians and Arabs, through colonization, being used as bases in times of war, slave trade etc. But, the sad story is, the people who have been most active in the continued rape of the Motherland are the leaders of our countries.

From the times of the slave trade, its the same story over and over again. Do not think for a second that when they came to the continent to collect slaves, the Europeans would just come in, burn everything to the ground, kill, destroy and lead the natives back to their ships bound in chains, while the natives themselves had put up and solid fight and only lost because of inferior weaponry. Sadly, this is not the case. It is not widely documented, but it is a known fact that the European slave traders would generally take slaves from any domestic tribe, after negotiations with the leaders of those tribes!! Why do you think you never hear stories of some great African king or chief who was taken captive and became a slave in the USA or Europe? Why do you think that, more often than not, after the slave traders had come and gone, the kings would be left rich, having sold their land and people for Western wealth? The slave trade would never have gone as smoothly and as effeciently as it did without assistance from the source of the slaves. Of course, it was never explicit, and there were never any signed contracts, or evidence left behind. But even if you use your head, you would see that the trade could not have happened without inside cooperation.*

No, the truth is even centuries ago, African leaders had acquired a taste for European trinkets, and they were not beyond selling some of their own to gain access to those trinkets. That is the unfortunate truth. And sadly, this practice continues today. African leaders still choose personal wealth, security and power over the well-being of the people they lead. This is the reason why most (if not all) of our heads of states hold massive Swiss bank accounts, and their palaces rival anything Europe has to offer, but their people continue in squalor. That is why even the African Union chooses to shelter their buddies, to the detriment of the people.

Our continent has the potential to rival the whole world in every area. We have natural resources, vast reserves which havent even been explored yet. South African trained CEO's are some of the most sought after in the world. African academics hold positions of authority at universities on every continent. Right now, the highest paid footballer in the world is an African. I could go on and on. We are operating so far below capacity it's sad. But we are nowhere near where we could be, because we have been throttled by beaurocracy on every scale. Tribalism, xenophobia, pride. Those are the common threads in all our economies.

Of course, I'm very well aware of the outside influences on our situation. The fact is the western world would rather have a poor Africa, for the sake of preserving their own interests. Case in point: after the end of World War II, the USA put together the Marshall Plan, which was a plan to revive the European and Japanese economies and make them more prosperous than before the war. And it worked!! About 4 years after the initialization of the plan, almost all European economies were stronger than they had been before the war. However, when it comes to Africa, we have USAID which is more concerned about feeding Africans while putting more money into the bank accounts of African leaders. Nothing about economic development and promoting indipendence for the states. This is just one example which most people are not aware of, there are many more elaborate examples. So the influence of the West is there in our poverty.

But, this situation has been allowed to prevail. It isnt random, and the West isnt just taking advantage of an random horrible situation. Our people suffer because of complacency, looking the other way. And it is up to us to end it.

Now, I have not studied history or political science or economics or journalism or any other subject which would make me an expert in the above subject in any conceivable way. I'm just an observer, and I write what I have observed. This one post was just a rant, for now. I have my own views on the way forward.

Till then, ngiyayigoba,
Mzwandile

*(Disclaimer: I'm very well aware that force was definitely used by the slave traders in acquiring slaves. I'm not being naive, most slave traders were also skilled soldiers and generals from their respective countries, and knew the art of bloody coersion. I was just making a point, that cooperation did occur on a massive scale during the slave trade)

Ain't Nothing "Kewl" About It

2011-06-08T15:24:00.002+02:00

I've mentioned before, in a previous post on this blog, that I'm not a big fan of slang. The main reason for this (and I might as well confess this upfront) is that I'm not very good at slang. I have no idea why, but my head is just not tuned to the frequency of the street. Just the other day I found out the South African R50 note is called a "Pinky". It's clear enough why people would name the note Pinky (it's pink), but at the time I heard it, I was baffled. And the most embarrassing thing was, I heard this from a pastor, of all people!! But, besides that, there’s other reasons why I’m not a fan of slang, mostly because the majority of slang is stupid and people just play with words… for the sake of playing with words. I’ve actually noticed that most of it originates from bored people who really have nothing better to do with their time than to cull a language of it sincerity. My honest opinion, anyway.

Here’s another confession: I’m not a big fan of SMS shorthand either. However, not to the extent that I’m against slang. See, I can understand the need for SMS text, or at least it originally intended use. Long, long ago, before the inventions of MMS, Mxit, Whatsapp, BBM and the like, there was an ancient form of communication called “Short Message Service” (SMS). That “short” there is a vital word, because you could only fit 160 individual characters into each SMS, and there was a cost to sending an SMS, so if you were on a tight budget, you had to find a way to use as little real estate as possible while telling your ex-girlfriend how much you love her at 03:00 am on a Tuesday. Hence, we all found ways of shortening what we write, and hey presto! LOL was born, along with all her siblings and cousins, and we could text as much as we wanted. Well, that’s the main argument, really. Most people just used shorthand because they were lazy to type out whole words. Yeah, blame OBE for the current state of our education system if you want, I blame the Nokia 3310 and 1100.

So, to an extent, SMS text is justified. I also use it (to a very limited degree) from time to time. But there are instances when it ventures into the realm of sheer stupidity and utter pointlessness. Case in point, the word “kewl”. I hate this word, with a passion. If it existed in physical form I’d throw my wet, stinky undies at it after playing a game of soccer. In case you’ve never come across this monstrosity of a term, this degradation of all of human civilization, this worthless thing which dares to be referred to as a word… consider yourself lucky. I personally believe that this word is the one reason why mankind hasn’t colonized the moon just yet. It’s gained popularity in recent times as a replacement for the word “cool”. Stupid.

Remember how I said earlier that SMS text was used to save space typing on a cellphone? Well, this word achieves absolutely nothing in its quest to save space. Notice that it has 4 characters, exactly the same number of characters as the word that it’s supposed to replace. And it’s pronounced in exactly the same way!! The only difference is in the spelling, and in my view the new spelling is harder to grasp than the original. Kewl, urgh. It’s totally pointless in my eyes, and I have absolutely no respect whatsoever for people who use the term (ja, ngisho wena, ungaphiki nje ukuthi nawe uyalisebenzisa leli gama menemene ndini).

Imagine the implications of the continued use of the word. School would become “skewl”, fool would become “fewl”, tool would become “tewl”…. The extent of the possible corruption is endless! If we allow this trend to continue, our country will continue sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss of rampant foolhardiness until we wake up too late and we can’t reverse the rot. I am seriously considering escalating this matter to the national administration. The future of my children and my children’s children depends on it. Let’s tackle this matter first and once we’ve eliminated it completely, trust me, crime, unemployment and crumbling infrastructure will be child’s play to resolve. This right here is the Goliath we need to bring down before we can pursue the rest of the Amalekites. Let’s all make a pledge to aim a smooth stone right into the temple of the word “kewl”. This, my fellow humans, is for your future. Onezindlebe makezwe.

I rest,

Mzwandile

IsiZulu Soqobo

2011-04-13T18:38:00.003+02:00

A lesson in Higher Grade isiZulu, courtesy of writer Ndumiso Ngcobo. Feel free to use the following words at will, you'll earn yourself immediate respect among the citizens of the Zulu Kingdom, the Empire in the Heavens :)

-Ukhophokanethi - one whose eyelashes never get rained on. This refers to an individual with a forehead which juts out of her skull like my friend Sphongo.

-Umzimb'obongayo - one whose body gives thanks. This refers to an individual of gigantic proportions such as my tub of lard of a friend we call Riba.

-Isinqandamathe - one who catches your saliva. This is your significant other. No need to go into the sordid details.

-Ukhandalimtshelokwakhe - one whose head tells him rubbish. We knew about such things long before Sigmund Freud and his disciples recognised the fact that some people's behaviour is governed by voices in their heads. This word describes sociopathic individuals who wreak havoc within society.

-Ilambalidlile - one who looks hungry after eating. Long jump Olympic medallist, Khotso Mokoena is a perfect example of this; bulky frame with a sinewy waist.

-Uthwalitshe - he who is perpetually carrying a boulder. I hate this word because it's what I was called many a time in school playgrounds throughout my life to describe the fact that I am well-endowed above the shoulders.

-Umgod'onganukwanja - a hole that even dogs don't sniff at. This is a cruel word describing a woman who doesn't seem to attract suitors. Ouch.

-Insuzelakude - one who emits flatulence from afar. This word describes an individual who the ancestors have blessed with an impressive set of gluteus maximus muscles. It's a word that a prominent TV football analyst once employed to describe the current Bafana Bafana coach Pitso Mosimane during his playing days over 20 years ago.

Ngiyayigoba (I rest),

Mzwandile

Women should NOT have children after 35!!

2011-04-10T18:32:00.004+02:00

This is one of those controversial statements but I fully stand behind it. Women should not have children after 35!

I strongly believe that I can back up this statement with sound psychological, medical, and financial data. Some say, "Of course women can have children after 35!" They don't know what they are talking about and I can guarantee they have had very little experience in the matter. I don't care what the doctor says. I don't care what your friends say. I don't even care what your pastor says. Women should not have children after 35!

I don't advise it, I vehemently recommend against it, and loudly and even at times rudely tell people "don't even consider it." You can quote me on this. If you want to say that Mzwandile said it, then so be it. I said it. And I said it more than once. "Women should not have children after 35!"

Some will post rude comments proclaiming the freedom of the womb but I still stand by what I said. You may disagree with me, that's your right. I still stand firm on the issue. With most things I keep an open mind but not on this issue. If I find an exception to this rule, then I will be open to change but for now, it's firmly closed because I have never seen an exception. Women should not have children after 35!

Because really now, 35 children are enough.....

The Ten Commandments of Doing "Good" in Business

2011-03-28T12:22:00.000+02:00

1. The customer is always right. Even when he is wrong.

2. Don't promise what you know you can't deliver.

3. Honor your verbal contracts with the same seriousness as you honor written agreements.

4. When negotiating, always aim for a deal that is as good for your partner as it is for you.

5. If a deal turns out badly for your partner but stays good for you, change it to be fair to him.

6. Always pay your employees as much as or more than they are worth - or, if that is impossible, as much as you can afford to pay them, with the promise of making it up to them later.

7. Share your business wisdom with everyone, including your competitors.

8. Never engage in gossip. Speak as if the person you are speaking about will find out what you are saying. (Because he will.)

9. Never take advantage of your vendors simply because you can. Your goal should be to compensate them fairly, even if it means paying them more than the market demands.

10. Never engage in recriminations and try to avoid litigation. In the long run, it is better to be the screwee rather than the screwer.

- Micheal Masterson

Nginibhaqile

2011-03-16T16:55:00.001+02:00

Khaphela catches Senzo and Jason red-handed. Hilarious!!!

Unconditional Faithfulness

2011-03-04T17:53:00.002+02:00

In the book of Daniel, in the third chapter, we read about King Nebuchadnezzar who:
1. Had the most awesome name EVER in the history of humankind, EVER!
2. Was a rabid lunatic.

He set up an image of gold and then ordered everyone in his vast kingdom to bow down and worship the image or die. The bible doesnt go into detail as to what the purpose of this image was, if it was a diety associated with anything in particular, so clearly this detail isnt very important... to us. But it was helluva important to king 'Chad, because he declared that anyone who doesnt bow down to his image will be immediately thrown into a burning oven. Immediately.

The heroes of this story, however, are three Jews named Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. This event occured during one of the many, many times in history where Middle Eastern nations were engaging in their favourite pasttime i.e. hating on Israel. So most of the Jews were second class citizens at the time. These three men, though, had managed to distinguish themselves profoundly with their spirit of excellence and faithfulness, and had endeared themselves to the king, even being placed in positions of authority throughout the kingdom. Naturally, haters sprung up all over the place, and they were always looking for an opportunity to smear mud on their faces.

This opportunity presented itself when king 'Chad decided to erect this image of gold. Being devout Jews and very, very faithful to their God, our three heroes decided to give the king's order the proverbial middle finger, and they continued praying to their God. You know the story, the haters rushed to the king to inform him of the rampant insubordination. Our crazy king decided to have the three men brought before him, and he ordered them to bow to the gold image immediately, or risk being thrown into the oven. This is when our heroes uttured what I believe are some of the most courageous words to ever exit a human mouth:

King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in
this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve
is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s
hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty,
that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up
- Daniel 3:16-18

Notice how our heroes chose to not put their wellbeing first, but placed their faithfulness above all else. Notice how their faith in God's abilities never wavered. And, importantly, notice how their faithfulness to God was unconditional! They had a complete faith in God and His abilities to rescue them from the oven. However, they said even is He doesnt rescue them, they will stay faithful. Even if He doesnt show Himself in their lives, they will stay faithful. Their faith didn't depend on God displaying His power for all to see. They knew Him, they knew who they were serving, and they knew that God is much, much more than His powers and His miracles. They knew that He cannot be contained in a small box of miracles. He defines His powers, His powers do not define Him!! And because of this attitude of unconditional faith, God was compelled to come down and rescue them Himself. He did not send a legion of angel, but He came down Himself! Most bible scholars believe that the fourth man who was seen in the oven was actually Jesus Christ, and we know that Jesus is God, so God came down Himself to rescue them.

Now how many Christians have conditional faith. Visual faith and faithfulness. "God, if you dont do this for me, I will stop coming to church" or "God, if you don't do this for me, you're not the real God". Love and faithfulness based on miracles. Based on what God can do for you. Of course, this is how most people come to know God, by what He can do for them (I came 'coz there was free food in the youth group). But we need to move beyond that. We need to seek to know more of God, to the point that our faithfulness is not dependent on the material, because we know the creator of the material. Whether we are provided for physically or not, we stay faithful.

Please note that this does NOT mean just accepting whatever appalling physical condition we may be in at any given time (que Gideon and King Hezekiah). We approach His throne with confidence and remind Him of His promises of providence to us as the need arises. But regardless of all of this, we stay faithful, we dont abandon our cross, we are prepared to face a blazing furnace for what we believe in. Even when we cry out in pain, we are still faithful (que Job). This is faithfulness.

Ngiyayigoba,
Mzwandile

What did Jesus look like?

2010-10-27T16:14:00.005+02:00

Most of us have some image in our heads of what Jesus Christ looked like, or might have looked like. If you grew up in a Christian household, there's a good chance you had a picture of Jesus hanging on your living room wall at home. There's many different variants of the picture of Jesus, but almost all of them have a few common traits. Jesus will most probably be caucasian, have a long beard; long, flowing, shiny hair that most Hollywood celebrities would kill for; flawless skin;, bright red/pink lips; ocean blue eyes with a sad and far-away look in them and, if his hands are up, shiny manicured nails too. Ooh, and his heart will be on fire. Yeah.

Now, nothing wrong with this picture. I think most people would like to believe that our supreme Lord and Saviour was flawless and perfect in every way, including his physical appearance. And the thought of Him being gentle and kind and meek and humble would also go with the gentle blue eyes, welcoming face, soft pink lips and soft, gentle hands. But the problem is, this picture goes against most things that the bible says about Jesus.

First of all, Jesus was a Jew, an Israelite. That means, Jesus was of Middle Eastern descent. He therefore most probably looked more like an Iraqi nomad than a Milan model. Of course, some people would curse at any proposed similarity between Jesus and Arabs, but if you know your history and geography, you'll know that Israelites and Arabs have lots in common, especially physical appearance. Also, common knowledge would say Jesus lived in a desert, or a semi-desert. And deserts are hot and windy and dry. You know what all that wind and all that whirling sand and all that exposure to the sun will do to your hair and skin? Split ends, dry hair, tough leathery skin, sun-spots etc. And the lips, the dry, chapped lips; Labello would have a very hard time protecting them. One could argue that He used primitive shampoos and conditioners and other chemical treatments, but, if they did exist in his time, they were probably way too expensive for Him to afford. Add that Jesus walked everywhere he went, and you'll have a better idea. And finally, Jesus was a carpenter. That means he worked with wood, hammers, nails, glue, fire, saws, axes and a host of other woodworking tools (ask Julius Malema for the complete list). So his hands were most probably tough as hippo hide, and bigger than most men's. And cracked nails too. Yup, definitely cracked nails. Not the prettiest picture then. I can't explain the heart on fire though, no thoughts on that.

The thing is, most of the pictures that we see of Jesus were originally painted by Italian and other European artists, the likes of Michelangelo and Da Vinci. And, being Italian, they based their illustrations on the Italian men around them. Also, these were mostly painted centuries after His death. So the illustrations are heavily misguided, and were made to appeal to the generation at the time. If you can look at His circumstances, and the times he grew up in, and the experiences he went through, you will most definitely have a different picture of the man that Jesus was.

Now, you're probably thinking "Whats the point of all this?" and truth be told, there is no final point, I'm not out to prove anything. Because at the end of the day, it doesnt matter one bit what you think Jesus looked like. Whether he was white, black, Chinese, fat, thin, tall, short, long hair, bald, toothless, wore pink robes etc... it doesn't matter! As long as you believe in His death and resurrection, and you have complete faith in Him, and He is your #1, that is all that matters. What I'm trying to say here is, most Christians have a completely distorted view of who Jesus was, what His character was, how He saw the world, how He saw other human beings. Over the centuries, His person has become twisted and contorted beyond recognition. This is just to open your eyes to any misconception you might have. His physical appearance is just the tip of the farce iceberg. In the near future, we shall explore in more detail the other, deeper side, personality, character, thought process, what ticked him off etc.

Till then, I rest,
Mzwandile

Judging

2010-10-04T13:54:00.000+02:00

People in general oppose passing judgment on others, and this is a good thing because most of us are really not equipped to pass judgment on anything, let alone on stuff which we know NOTHING about. There's a reason why judicial judges have to have years of legal training and practice behind them before they can be qualified to pass judgment, and even then it is not uncommon for them to take months and many separate hearings in order to pass judgment, and it usually takes them even longer to settle on fair sentencing. Why then do we "common" human beings feel that we are adequately skilled to pass judgment on our fellow man? No, knowledge of the bible and spending years in church does not make u adequately skilled.

However, there is a flipside to this. Yes, its quite true that a person is innocent until proven guilty. Here's a question: if I see with my own eyes a person taking something that does not belong to him, can I call that person a thief immediately, or do I first have to wait for the courts to find him guilty first? And if I do decide to call him a thief without waiting for the courts, am I then passing undue judgment or am I simply stating a fact based on what I witnessed with my very own eyes? And does it matter if the stuff I saw him taking belongs to me or if I had nothing at all to do with it? Some people think it matters.

Another question is, if I am a thief myself, does that mean that I am then not qualified to label other people as thieves, even though they clearly are, simply because I am guilty of the same crime as well? Should we be differentiating between labels which are merely descriptive (thief, prostitute, liar etc) and those which pass condemnation? Do we even know the difference? And lastly, to which should we be focusing more: honesty, brutal as it may be, or political correctness, to protect feelings and not be defamatory? Or does it vary depending on the matter at hand?

Think about it, tell me your thoughts.

Mzwa

Whats up?

2010-08-13T19:45:00.002+02:00

Just about everyone who knows me will tell you that I'm not very fluent in slang, whether township slang or American slang. Some of my most embarrassing moments have been when I'm visiting Soweto and my sister introduces me to some of her friends. As I extend my arm for a handshake the other dude goes "Fede?", and I'm always left with this "Uuhhh...." look on my face. Because it always takes me a few seconds to register exactly what "Fede?" means. And to be quite honest, I still have very little idea what it means.

Granted, I may be too analytical. I don't like saying or doing things unless there is a very clear reason why I should do that thing that way, and there's a defined result in doing that thing that way, and there isn't a better way to do that thing. But every now and then something comes along that everyone just takes to like a duck to water, and it becomes such an integral part of life that you don't really have a choice but to join in, get with the program.

But there's some things I can't get a hold of. You'll find this strange and nerdy of me (what's new?) but I just can't get used to the phrase "What's up" or "Wassup" or even worse "Sup". I just cannot respond to that, whenever someone greets me that way. I mean, what do I say? Do I say "I'm good" or "I'm ok"? But that wasn't the question. Do I look up first, and then answer? Most of the time I say "Nothing", not because there's really nothing, but because that's the only answer which sounds right. I mean, I can handle other slang greetings, like if someone says "Howzit" or "Hoezit", I know immediately that the answer to that is "Sharp sharp". Its clearly defined and I can't get confused. And the question is a simple "How is it?" which makes sense. What's up? Not so much hey.

Thing is, everyone uses it. They especially like "Sup" which I especially don't like because to me it's just lazy. You're asking a senseless question and you're abbreviating it. Mnxm. They use it on instant messaging, on the phone, facebook, even e-mails. It's like, you don't really know what you want. I mean, when you say "Sup", what exactly are you expecting? Look up your damn self man!!! Unless you sprained your neck and you seriously need to see the sky but you're physically unable to do so, you shouldn't ask that. It's not on. Not one bit.

But I suppose it's just one of those things I'll have to get used to, along with sms shorthand (a longer tirade on that later).

I rest,
Me

Some brilliant soccer videos

2010-07-02T12:02:00.003+02:00

Aphi Amakwerekwere

2010-06-17T18:16:00.007+02:00

Yesterday (16 June '10) I decided to go and watch the South Africa vs Uruguay game in the township of Khayelitsha. They have one of these really cool "Fan Jols" which they have set up in most of the townships around the country so that those without tickets can watch the games on big screens for free, and its a very cool vibe there, what with the vuvuzelas buzzing inceasantly.

No, this is not a piece about how Bafana embarrassed the nation so much last night (tempting but I won't), but it centers around the game.

Now, as I said, there was a lot of jubilation at the fan jol, with everyone everyone else's friend. Of course, this didn't last long as you probably know. After the second Uruguayan goal everyone was hating Bafana and people started leaving. And then the third goal came in, and people started swearing, and people went off to the tarverns, and while they were leaving, you could hear shouts of "Aphi amakwerekwere, awashe amakwerekwere (where's the kwerekweres, let the kwerekweres burn)".

In case you are not aware, kwerekwere is a derogatory term that is used in South Africa to refer to foreigners of African descent. Yes, when Bafana was losing, some guys were looking to take out their frustrations on innocent foreigners. And these were such young guys, teenagers some of them. They were not drunk too, some of them maybe high on the ganja they managed to sneak into the grounds, but most of those shouting like this were, from what I saw, sober. Of course, it wasn't everybody in the crowd shouting these things, it was a minority, less than 5%, but it was still disturbing. And try as I might to find comfort in the chance that they might be joking, I couldn't find it. They looked serious, especially when they were waving the sticks and empty bottles.

I was embarrassed. This is what some call the "township mentality" and its the few rotten apples who give the rest of the people there a bad name. Having grown up in a township myself (Umlazi, what a place) I'm quite aware of some of the negative elements of growing up in that environment (slums, unemployment, no services), it creates a mindset which is hard to crack. And I know the "herd effect" when the stupidity of one is multiplied by the number present, so it escalates. But I hadn't expected what I saw there. And I was just glad that I had resisted the temptation to invite my Zimbabwean and Ugandan friends to join me in Khayelitsha, as I had planned.

Now, clearly there is substance to the rumours we've heard that some people are planning the purging of foreigners as soon as the world cup is over. This is not very surprising, considering how the debacle of two years ago was never resolved, only dealt with for the moment and the underlying issues swept under the carpet. And we know how quickly and effeciently pests and dust and germs can multiply under carpets. Simply taking the victims and placing them in distant compounds and telling everyone that its now alright was never gonna be a permanent solution. The ignorance which culminated in the original "purgings" is still there, the misinformation is still there, the fear is still there, the loathing is still. Cutting a tree at the trunk while leaving the roots intact does not kill the tree. In fact, it gives the roots more time to grow farther and stronger, so that by the time the tree rears its ugly head again, it'll be harder to get rid of.

We need more decisive action in this matter, from all fronts: the government, the ANC, the ANC Youth League, the Police, Home Affairs, Department of Education, the media, churches, everyone!! What people need to realise is that, in this country, there is really enough to go around. Those in the know say this country is operating way below full capacity. With the right systems in place and, more importantly, the right national mindset, we could easily double South Africa's GDP. We do not have to be fighting over scraps, especially to the point of spilling innocent blood. Its frustrating to see that there are really people who think in such twisted ways, who see life as being so cheap only because it comes from the DRC. Maybe its because I have so many friends from other African countries, and members of my youth group too, and I saw how terrified they were two years ago, that I feel the need for more decisive action. This cannot go on. Our rainbow is tainted, in fact it doesn't exist at all, as long as these elements still persist in our societies.

It also doesn't help that these things happened on Youth Day, after Bafana played #&$% soccer.

Bantu Steven Biko, Walter Sisulu, Solomon Mahlangu, they would be ashamed at the attitudes of some of the present day South African youth.

I rest,
Mzwa

Have you hugged a shark today?

2010-06-15T10:51:00.003+02:00

The dead burying the dead, feeding the dead

2010-05-25T15:59:00.003+02:00

There's a lot of things that we, black people, do in the name of culture, tradition or custom but other than that we're not really sure why we do them, or how they benefit us. Sometimes we're not sure if they benefit us in any way at all, but we still do them for old time's sakes. Also, you'll find that there's a lot of people out there who confuse tradition with habit. Most of the time this doesn't bother me much, because generally people are the masters of their own destinies, and whatever they do in the name of culture only affects them or their immediate families, nobody else. But then there are times when the effect is far reaching.

This is highlighted the most when there's a death in the family. This is one of those instances when, in my eyes, the communal spirit of the African shows its negative side. Because this when the troubles of the family of the deceased are multiplied. For example, suppose that somebody dies on a Monday. This will typically be buried on a Saturday, sometimes on a Sunday, depending on religious inclination. Then one or more of the older women in the family will be required to sit on a mattress of reed mat, probably in the main bedroom, until the day of burial. Fair enough, people mourn in different way. Which, of course, brings us to the mourners.

From the day that people hear of the passing, they will start visiting the family to offer their respects and condolences. A noble act this, and one which I encourage and do myself when the need arises. You'll have relatives who will come and take up temporary residence in the house, until after the funeral. And friends and neighbours will come daily to offer prayers. And in some circles, on the night before the funeral, there'll be a huge prayer service which will last the whole night.

But now here's the sad part: these visiting relatives who have taken up permanent residence, and some of the friends, will expect the family of the deceased to provide for their needs while they are mourning with them. I have never ever understood this from the day I could differentiate my ears from my nose. People will just pack their bags from wherever they are and come to the house and expect a place to sleep, water to shower with and breakfast, lunch and supper everyday!! And the friends who come to offer prayers, some of them will not leave until they have received food, or biscuits and soda at the very least. If they do leave without receiving this, they will complain no end, and will probably not be coming back the next day for prayer. And then there's the relatives, who are a much bigger cost centre. Because they require a place to sleep, food everyday (good food, otherwise you'll be the butt of every joke for your frugality) and everything else that comes with being part of the family. If you're lucky, they'll contribute towards all of these things by buying food and actually being useful around the house. And those who come to offer prayers will leave money in the offering plate. But from what I've seen this is seldom the case, and you'll be lucky to see more that R20 in the offering plate (yes, I look).

Then there's the day of the funeral, where the family will again be expected to provide food for all who come to attend. On the surface, there's also nothing wrong here. Its quite normal to slaughter a cow or sheep for a funeral, has been happening since forever. But these days this has taken an ugly turn itself. Simple cow meat is no longer adequate. People want three course meals for funerals. They want to be entertained by singers. They want to sit and eat using the very best materials. And most families feel obliged to provide all of these things, AT THEIR OWN COST!! And this will go on until a few days after the funeral. The relatives will stay a bit longer, and the friends will keep on coming to offer prayers. And the lucky family will keep feeding them. At their own cost.

I have talked to many people about this and surprisingly, many support these practices. People just do not mind going through these costs, if it means they will "stage" a funeral which people will talk about for days. That's why you see people hiring cameramen to film the funeral. Even if it means going into debt to reach this end. Some see it as honouring the deceased. But how is the deceased honoured if the family is left in debt because of him? How is the deceased honoured if his children can no longer get what they need because all the money he was saving for them went towards entertaining mourners? Of course, if you can afford all of this comfortably go right ahead, but where is the sense in loading yourself with even more trouble, when the death should be trouble enough? Maybe I'm too modernised to understand the antics of our elders. I just think that we, black people, need to change the way we think on so many levels if we want to enjoy the freedoms that this country offers. And funeral practices is just one way of looking at this.

I rest,
Mzwa

Confused Preachers

2010-04-20T16:55:00.003+02:00

Make the Circle BEEGA

2010-04-15T12:13:00.006+02:00

Drama at the Robot

2010-03-23T19:27:00.002+02:00

It’s depressing, really. A tragic state of affairs. Racism is still alive in this country. Or at least in Cape Town it is, as far as I can tell. No, I’m not talking about white-on-black racism. Or black-on-white racism. Or even black-on-black racism. No, this is way more sinister. This is beggar-on-black racism and hawker-on-black racism.

And it is not that hard to see. You just gotta be black to see it. All you need to do is just drive to the nearest intersection with a traffic light anywhere in the Mother City. There is a very good chance that there will be more than a few individuals who use the traffic light to make a living. Some will be selling small items of art, some will be selling fruit and veggies, some will be selling flowers and just about anything else you can sell at a traffic light. Others will be selling The Big Issue, which is a magazine sold by homeless people (I’ve bought a few copies, it’s not bad). Others will be offering you Jokes for Change (funny money). And others will just be asking for money (Tchooning you straight, bra).

Now, there’s nothing wrong with the way they choose to make a living. And I totally support what they do, especially the Big Issue peddlers and the art traders. Some of their items are very creative, and I have a few in my room. But that’s where the problem comes in, actually supporting these guys. You see, it seems they have a phobia for black man in cars. An apparent mistrust for chocolate-covered skin. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. There have been so many times that I’ve been stuck in traffic and I see this guy walking from car to car displaying his wares. Being bored, stuck in traffic and this being month-end, I decide that I’d like to see whatever he’s offering, and he looks like a nice chap, and it being 31 degrees in the shade today, I wouldn’t mind supporting the oke. So I get my wallet ready as he nears my car. And then, just as I open my window and smile, the guy just passes me for the car behind me. And I noticed very well that he went to each and every one of the cars in front of me. But he just sommer skips me for the guy behind me without glancing twice. WHAT THE HECK!!

Then I notice something else. Of all the cars at this intersection at the moment, mine is one of only 3 driven by darkies. And, as I continue observing, I see that the other black dudes are also deprived the opportunity to part with their hard-earned 20 bucks. This is so not on. And since this is not illegal, there’s really no way for a concerned young man to get to the bottom of this. Why can’t I buy a model of the Moses Mabhida stadium made from coke cans and cardboard if I want to? Why am I not allowed to read funny money? Why do I need to wave a green note in the air before you pay me more attention? Is it because black brothers have a history of being stingy? Do black brothers perhaps have counterfeit money? Does this really qualify as racism? Does it matter that, more often than not, the guy at the traffic light is a foreigner? Although the Xhosa and Coloured guys will treat you the same way; funnily enough, white beggars don’t seem to discriminate that much, just my observation.

Most people will find nothing wrong with their behavior, but personally it sort of irritates me. It’s like people look down on my ability/willingness to support entrepreneurs based on my chocolate-reminiscent melanin-rich covering. And I wonder if this is only prevalent in Cape Town. And I wonder if apparent BEE types get the same treatment.

Sigh, the struggle of the black man doesn’t end.

I rest,
Mzwa

Sweety Lavo

2010-02-17T11:22:00.002+02:00

They don't make music like this anymore

Whose Fool Are You?

2009-11-30T14:34:00.001+02:00

There's something I've noticed about people in general. Most people, on some level, think they know better than everybody else. Everybody thinks they have been freed through their education and through their accumulated wealth. But you can never fool yourself. No matter who you are, you are somebody's slave. No matter how smart, eloquent ar educated you are, you are somebody's fool. You might be a slave to money or sin, as it is usually preached in the church. Or you might be a slave to politics, to the news, to your spouse, to your dismal or non-existent love life. You might be a slave to your job, to your imagination, to your sickness. You might even be a slave to yourself. But now, here's the thing. You choose who you can be a slave to. You have that power, and most people don't understand that.

If you don't lack understanding, then you will know that being a slave of the Almighty is the best decision you can make. Because God doesn't treat His slaves as most masters do. He makes them His partners, not just servants. He takes a vested interest in your life. He doesn't want to see you survive, He wants to see you reach for the stars, and indeed, go beyond the stars. He wants you to shine brighter than all of them. He wants you to rule with him. This is BEE on the highest level.

But this is where people flounder. They want to have a partnership with God, but they are not prepared to stick to the conditions of their contract. God made so many promises to us, but all those promises are conditional. Conditional on your zeal towards Him, on your obidience, on your faith. He is prepared, and is able, to make you exceed your wildest dreams. But He wants to be your partner. And you can't serve two masters, you will love the one and hate the other. But it is all your choice. The ball is in your court.

Now I leave you with this parting shot: I'm a fool for Jesus, whose fool are you?

Like Buffalo

2009-11-30T14:31:00.000+02:00

Ever heard of the Buffalo Theory? Of course you haven't, I've never told you about it.

It's not as much a theory as it is an observation. It's quite simple really. In any herd of buffalo, there will be the strong ones, and inevitably, there will be the weaker ones, the older ones, the sickly and the very young. And being out in the wild, there will always be predators looking for their next meal from among the herd of buffalo. Lions, leopards, cheetahs, hyenas, wild dogs, crocodiles at the watering hole. They're always on the prowl, waiting to devour.

Naturally, the herd sticks together, moves together, migrates together. And when a predator strikes, it is natural for them to defend each other. But most times this is not possible, and the animal is faced with a "fight or flight" situation. Most times they choose the later. Even then, they run as a unit. Well, almost. As I noted earlier, there are always the weaker ones in the herd. And these are the ones that predators target. The rest of the herd will try and defend them, send them to the middle of the pack, while the grown males stand on the outside with their horns towards the predators. But inevitably, one will always let slip, and casualties will occur, more so among the weaker, the elderly, the infants, the injured, the sickly.

But these casualties also have a positive effect. See, with the weaker members of the herd still around, the herd as a whole is not operating effeciently. They are slower than they would be if it was just the strong ones around. But, as the weaker buffalo fall prey to the predators, the herd as a whole is left stronger than before. They can run faster, go further, until they reach the greener pastures they are searching for.

That is the essence of the Buffalo Theory. As the weak members fall by the wayside, the unit is stronger as a result. They also learn from the misfortune, and are more the wiser. I'm reminded of this theory as the church is going through the present period of persecution. We may lament the loss of our brothers and sisters, but we can look at what has occured and learn from it. And we will come out stronger as a result. You'll never know, maybe they were the ones holding you back. It's like we've shaken off the weights on our backs, and we can run faster and go further.

At the end of the day, the work of God doesn't stop. The men and women of God are still there to run with the baton and pass it on to the next person. We will walk on.

Repentance

2009-11-30T14:24:00.000+02:00

Last night I started reading the book Are We All God's Children by Bishop Macedo. Although I've only read a few pages and I haven't finished the book, there's something in there which caught my attention already and I just can't seem to shake it. He's talking about how Adam and Eve gave their authority to the devil through disobedience. Now, what got my attention is that he mentions that after committing their sin, after disobeying, instead of humbling themselves, going to God and asking for forgiveness, Adam and Eve chose to hide. After realising that they were naked, they chose to take weak, temporary fig leaves and hide their shame. And when God finally came looking for them, again instead of being humble and repenting, they started pointing fingers and shifting the blame.

Now, this raised two concerns within me. Firstly, had Adam and Eve rrepented, would the result have been different? Would God have forgiven them? I'm sure He would have. If they had just gone to Him and admitted their sin, would we still be in paradise today, having dominion over all creation as was the original intention? Of course, these questions are all quite pointless really, because the damage has been done. All we can do is live faithfully so that we can go back to the place that was created for us, instead of the place that was created for the devil and his demons. So I'll leave this matter at that.

The second, and much more relevant point, is how many people, even servants of God, act like Adam and Eve when they are caught in sin? How many people, instead of trully repenting and admitting their sins, choose to rather hide their sin? How many servants fool themselves everyday by living as hypocrites? How many servants fall into temptation and then, instead of going to their respective pastors and telling them, choose to hide because they fear losing their uniforms, along with their titles? How many servants out there are more afraid of the eyes of the people than they are of the eyes of the One who sees all?

For me, the fig leaves represent the lies that people tell to make excuses for their faults. I include myself in these group. And what we don't realise is it's all so futile, so useless, and yet so weakining and heavy. It's like if your roof is leaking, instead of fixing the roof, you keep putting bowls under the leaks. A temporary solution, weak and brittle. And tiring too. Most servants are more concerned about how people view them, their public image, instead of how God sees them. It's the reason why a number of assistants have become employees of the church instead of servants. They are more concerned with hiding their shame than with repentance. Or have I got the wrong end of the stick here?

Another thing is, why do we keep going back to the same sin? Look at any former servant, and you're likely to find that what made them fall was not something new that they came across. It's more likely to be something that they were never quite able to let go of. It's probably something which they repeatedly "repented" from, but went to it nonetheless. Is this normal, or is it lack of total repentance? I believe it's the latter. Most people never fully repent. They are never really sorry, for lack of a better word, for what they did. They just get on their knees, "My Jesus, forgive me, it was my flesh, wash me in your blood, in Jesus' name, Amen." Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. It's done, I'm forgiven, happy days. And then we forget. It becomes a routine, like a nursery rhyme. Have we become too "used" to God? Have we started treating Him like a school principal? This is probably why Solomon said the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.

Take it to the specialist

2009-11-30T14:18:00.000+02:00

If you owned a car and it was giving you problems, who would you take it to to fix it? Would you take it to a car mechanic or would you take it to a plumber or carpenter? Unless you belong in the loony bin, you'd go to the car mechanic of course.

And if you did go to the mechanic, and assuming you drove a Mercedes-Benz, who would you rather take the car to? A qualified, certified Mercedes-Benz car mechanic or a corner mechanic somewhere in your neighbourhood? The qualified dude, of course!! And because you know he's qualified and you're paying him top dollar to work on your car, you expect perfect results. You expect him to fix whatever problem you may have with the car, because you know he's the best man for the job. You demand results!!

I started thinking about this when I considered all the sick people that we have in this world, and particularly in our churches. We all know that we were created by God's own hands. He created everything else by the power of His word, but when it came to mankind, He actually took the time to create us with His own hands. To me that means that nobody, NOBODY, knows me better than He does. Not my doctor, not my GP, not some anatomy professor, nobody. So whatever affliction I may have, He knows best how to fix it. Even if doctors say I have an incurable disease, they do not know how I was created. They were not there when my bones were connected together. They were not there when the blood was first pumped through my veins. They were not there when the labyrinth that is my nervous system was laid with an impossible attention to detail. They were not there when my skull was toughened up so it could protect my grey matter.

They have just spent years learning what God Himself created, and they still don't know enough. They'll never know enough. He knows everything. He created everything. Therefore He can fix EVERYTHING!! I think about this when people believe that God can do something only when man can do it as well. What an insult this must be to God. To be judged as less capable than His own creation! You go out there and ask a Christian, any Christian, if they believe that God can heal all diseases, even the incurable ones, and you're not likely to get a straight answer. And when you do ascertain that God can heal all, you'll be accused of deceiving the people.

Truth is, God is more powerful than we can imagine, and He can do the things that we can't bring ourselves to imagine. He is THE God, there is no other. And no matter what man may say, He is still the Omnipotent God. And if you trust Him fully, and approach His throne with confidence, there is absolutely nothing that He cannot do for you.

I rest,

Mzwandile

Gluttony

2009-10-20T11:45:00.004+02:00

I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately. I don't know if it's my conscience putting it at the front of my mind. I suppose it's because I'm a heavy eater. Anyone who knows me knows that I can eat. Even at the office, at 61kg I'm the light-weight of the dealing room. Nevertheless, I'm still the only one with the proven ability to finish a 600g steak without taking a break to digest it in parts. Yes, we have actually proven this, I am king of the steakhouse.

Thing is, in my view, this is one of those subjects where there's a lot of grey areas. Most people cannot actually tell you what gluttony is. Some will say it's the love of food. Show me one person out there who doesn't love food and I'll show you a liar. Granted, some of us love it more than others (hey), but we all love food. Does it go beyond that then? Another will say it's when the love if food gets in the way of your relationship with God. Personally I have never missed a day at church solely because I was getting food at that time elsewhere. I can site a few times when I've been fasting, and then someone put a fresh chocolate cake or mutton samoosa or pork ribs in front of me and I quickly forgot my fasting. K, so I'm not perfect.

I do believe that maybe this subject should be investigated more. I mean, what are the limits? Is gluttony eating more than 3 square meals a day or are there individual limits based on the person's abilities? Are there any limits at all? Are there different limits for vegetable dishes than there are for meat dishes? Or is it only a sin as far as it affects my health? When Jesus died on the cross and fulfilled the Law, did He fulfill this particular law as well? Should I have my lunch right now or should I wait for someone to respond first and then dig in?

I rest,
Mzwandile

I'm Older Than You!

2009-01-11T20:14:00.001+02:00

The other day I was chatting to a man from the church. There was this man, myself and another assistant. I was asking him why he hadn't been seen in the church since the festive season began, and had only come back after the first week of January. No, I wasn't interrogating the poor man, I was just asking out of concern, because the last time I checked, he didn't have any living family or relatives, so he doesn't have many places to visit during the holidays. So I was wondering whether there had been something wrong with him or something.

Turns out the old man never went anywhere. He was right here in Clermont, Cape Town, chillin'. He just decided that he wasn't gonna come to the church for the entire festive season. Which, to someone else, might not seem entirely wrong in itself. But it's the reasoning behind the man's christmas break that caught my attention. When we asked him why he decided not to come to the church for so long, he said he needed to rest. Hawu. Kanti lo muntu unjani madoda? Of all the things you could "rest" from, how can you take a rest from the presence of God? The more logical thing would be to rest in the presence of God, not so? I mean, it's the safest place to be, especially considering all the things which happen during the season, especially in this lovely country of ours.

So we posed the question to the big man. How can you rest from the presence of God? Which was when the conversation almost turned violent. He started telling us how he has been in the church longer than all the assistants in our branch, and probably longer than the pastor himself. He started recalling all the pastors who've ministered to him, all the people who've come and gone and he's still here. Apparently his longevity in the church makes him more of a spiritual authority than everybody else.

And this is when it dawned on me. This is one of the things which hold a number of people back, people who have been in the church for years and years. Of course, it wasn't just dawning then, it just re-enforced itself in my mind. Sometimes, when you've been in the church long enough, the devil will try to trick you into thinking that you've learned enough, that it's about time you took a break. That's why we hear people saying things like "How can such a young boy teach me anything?" (I have personally had such words directed at me). People forget that God doesn't work with age or experience or knowledge. He works by faith. All of these other things might come in handy at some point, but faith nust be at the forefront. People easily loose blessings because they want to serve God as they want, because they think they have come to understand the mind of God because of the number of years they've spent in the church. But this is a flawed logic. This is exactly the kind of thinking which led to the fall of King Saul and the removal of his anointing. This is the reason why, every once in a while, the Holy Spirit uses our leaders to remind us to revive our first love. The first love is that faith which assumes nothing, which waits for instruction from God and then follows without question. The first love is the love that Abraham had who, even after walking with God for almost a decade, still followed His instruction without question. He never supposed himself to know the mind of God. He followed wholeheartedly.

If we should allow the spirit of pride to invade our hearts, we will also end up like Saul. We should remain children in our hearts, so that God can find the space to work there. If we lift ourselves up, then He can't lift us up.

Superman!

2009-01-06T16:41:00.004+02:00

Lately I've made some not-so-nice discoveries about the men that I hold in the highest regard in my life. See, I was raised by a single mom, and I never had a father-figure in my life. No older brothers, close uncles, nothing. The closest thing I have ever had to a father figures are the pastors from the church. Over the years I've been fortunate to be relatively close to the men of God who work in my church. They have contributed immensely in shaping the man that I am today. From relationships to taking care of responsibilities to standing up for what I believe in, everything I know I learned from them. Of course, it was the Holy Spirit using them to teach me, I know. But He used them, and they allowed Him to use them to teach me.

As I result of this, I hold my pastors in very high regard. Giving everything up and choosing to devote your life to saving other people is a very noble act. It is, to me, the most important occupation (dare I say, job) on the planet and it's importance cannot be exxagerated. These men and women give their all everyday so that we can continue living our comfortable lives. Our lives are effectively in their hands, as they put their lives on the line daily for ours. I have great admiration for them, and over the years I have developed a sort of Superhero image of them. I view them as the lone rangers, seeking out evil and wicked men and fighting them off for our sake (you can tell from this that I watch too many cartoons).

But this view of mine comes with it's pitfalls, though. Because they're not superheroes, see, and they're definitely not invincible. And from time to time, one of them will throw in the towel and leave this most blessed of work fields. I have seen this happen time and time again, but none rocked my world as much as a couple of weeks ago, when the one man whom I hold in the highest regard also threw in the towel. This is the man who showed me that really all things are possible. That God does not look at your situation, or your past. If you devote yourself to Him fully, He will use you to His great glory. And all the other things you won't learn from the altar during the Sunday morning service, but which you can only learn from being in close proximity to a man of fire. He fell, and boy did he fall hard.

I won't go into the details of what happened, except that his past somehow caught up with him. So his ministry collapsed, along with his marriage. I was shattered. Of all the people who can fall. But then it dawned on me. You are only as strong as your connection to God is. Samuel was the first king of Israel, the anointed one of God. And God gave him victory in all he did, as long as he remained fully obedient to Him. The day he conceived within himself that he could go against God's commandements, he fell. He had been the most humble man in the land, the one God saw worthy to give the highest throne in Israel. And he allowed pride to contaminate his heart, and as a result he became the first recorded suicide in the bible.

Here's the thing. No matter how strong, spiritual or close to God you are, if you start neglecting your spitual life, you will lose out. No man is invincible, no matter how long you've known God or the amount of work you've done for Him, your salvation is still strictly in your hands. You have to understand that if you are a servant, then you are in the frontline in the war against evil. Some people believe that just because they come to church and tell people about Jesus, satan will leave them alone. On the contrary, we are the first line of fire. So we are the ones who have to be the most vigilant. We are the ones who have to be the most careful to obey fully. The devil is not afraid of people who pray. He's afraid of people who fully submit to God and obey His every command. That's the secret (in my view, at least). Superheroes don't exist. We are all human, and we all have our weak spots. Even Superman had his kryptonite. But the devil can only exploit these weak spots if we give him the entry point. And the entry point is disobedience. Submission is key, and if we have that, we will conquer all things in life.

Study Finds Sexism Rampant In Nature

2008-10-16T13:23:00.002+02:00

This is a copy of an article I found the other day. Oh, but the crazy world we live in! It's a tad long but worth it. And if it doesn't teach ou anything, at least it will amuse you. Enjoy!!

Study Finds Sexism Rampant In Nature

SAN DIEGO—According to a University of California–San Diego study released Monday, sexism is rampant throughout the natural world, particularly among the highest classes of vertebrates.

"When we first decided to examine attitudes and behaviors toward gender roles among non-humans, we were wholly unprepared for what we would find," said Jennifer Tannen, leader of the UCSD research team, a joint venture between the school's zoology and women's studies departments. "Females living in the wild routinely fall victim to everything from stereotyping to exclusion from pack activities to sexual harassment."

Nowhere is the natural world's gender inequity more transparent, Tannen said, than in the unfair burden females assume for the rearing of offspring.
"Take the behavior of the ring-neck pheasant," Tannen said. "After mating, the male immediately abandons the hen, leaving her responsible for the total care for the chicks. For the single mother-to-be, there is no assistance, either in the form of a partner or child support. Nor is there any legal recourse. It's despicable."

Tannen said pheasants are typical of the natural world, where a mere 5 percent of animal species mate for life. Among species that do form lasting pairs, the situation barely improves: Females must remain close to the nest to incubate eggs, nurse, and keep watch over the burrow while males are free to go off hunting and fishing with their friends.

"The sexist attitude that child-rearing is 'women's work' is prevalent throughout nature and has been for generations, probably since reptiles first developed mammalian characteristics in the Triassic period," Tannen said. "Sadly, most creatures never pause to challenge these woefully outdated gender roles."

Tannen stressed the need to hold high those rare examples of species that do form caring, mutually supportive relationships. "Wolves, beavers, gibbons, and a small African antelope known as a dik-dik all live in stable, monogamous pairs," Tannen said. "Other animals need to look to them as positive models if we are to have any hope of one day creating an ecosystem of understanding and respect." More seriously, in addition to an unfair division of labor, nature is rife with sexual abuse and harassment. The UCSD study estimates that in 2001 alone, more than 170 trillion cases of abuse occurred in the world's forests, grasslands, and oceans—all of them unreported.

"During the act of mating, the female moose is subject to excessive biting, nipping, and herding," Tannen said. "The male has no qualms about using sheer, brute force to overpower his sex partner, and the female, accustomed to this sort of rough treatment after millions of years of it, doesn't even realize there's something wrong."
"Then, when it's time for the bull moose to complete the sexual act," Tannen continued, "it's over in about five seconds, with no regard to female pleasure whatsoever. Typical."

Adding insult to injury, Tannen said, the bull moose then heads off to mate with dozens more females over a period of two to three weeks, justifying his behavior as "part of the Mardi Gras-like atmosphere of 'mating season.'" With other species, darker situations unfold.
"To mate, the male Galapagos tortoise simply immobilizes the female with his weight, which, as far as I'm concerned, qualifies as non-consensual sex," Tannen says. "Female southern elephant seals gather in large groups during mating season, and each group has a small handful of males who control them like a harem. It's sick."

When female animals refuse to play along with prescribed gender roles, Tannen said, they are demonized. For example, female foxes, known throughout the animal kingdom for their aggressiveness, are labeled "vixen."

"We've all heard the lurid tales about the female black-widow spider, who kills and eats her mate," Tannen said. "The truth is, male spiders encourage their partners to kill them because it increases the time spent mating and, thus, the number of eggs fertilized by his sperm. But no one condemns the male for his part in this destructive relationship." UCSD researchers identified 24 distinct male behaviors designed to perpetuate gender inequity and preserve the prevailing power structure. Among these dominance-asserting behaviors are chest-puffing, plumage-spreading, and antler growth.

The UCSD study is not without its detractors. Glen Otis Brown, author of Forced To Strut: Reverse Sexism In The Animal World, countered that male animals are victims of "the beauty myth" as much as females.
"When given a choice, female green tree frogs gravitate toward males that call the loudest and most often," Brown said. "Female Poecilia reticulata [guppies] go straight to the most brightly colored males. But when males evolve exaggerated secondary sexual traits to attract the opposite sex, suddenly they're the bad guys." Tannen conceded that both genders have suffered as a result of sexism. "Other than sexual size dimorphism due to same-sex competition, males benefit little from the gender inequity that so strongly favors them," Tannen said. "In a world where interactions are rooted in competition, not cooperation, both females and males are being denied the right to form meaningful relationships."

Annie Secunda, a Boston-based females'-rights advocate, said swift action must be taken to address the problem of sexism within the animal kingdom. "We need to provide tigresses, hens, and all other females in nature with outreach programs and support networks," Secunda said. "We also need to impose standards through intervention. The males of all species need to hear loud and clear the message that this kind of animal behavior is not acceptable." Secunda conducts numerous workshops aimed at creating female-friendly biomes and promoting the health and positive self-image of females on both land and in the sea. She also strongly advocates the legalization of infanticide, which would enable females to devour their newborn offspring when resources are limited.

Secunda spent much of 2001 in the Amazon rainforest, working to create safe spaces for female animals. These efforts, however, yielded mixed results: Females have avoided the lighted walkways she built in several dangerously dense areas, and leaflets encouraging females to learn how their own bodies work were ultimately used to line dens for the rainy season. Far from discouraged, Secunda said she plans to embark on an intensive study of the sexuality of flora.

"Multicellular plants alternate sexually reproducing and asexually reproducing generations, with each plant producing both male and female gametes," Secunda said. "It seems many plants have moved past conventional notions of male-female gender altogether. It's so liberating, I can't help but have hope for all those so-called 'higher' species of animals."

I Have No Idea Why I'm Doing This

2008-10-07T10:07:00.002+02:00

If you are reading this, then that tells me two things: you are bored out of your head, and you've got waaaay too much time on you hands. And if you actually came here looking for some pearls of wisdom, you need to have your head read. Go and do something useful with your life, like, watch cartoons or something.